Fellow student on placement

[Lastofsummer]

Username change as outing. I'm currently on a clinical placement as a mature healthcare student. There is another student with me who I initially liked and was keen to be nice to, especially as she is younger than me. A new placement can be daunting so I was relieved to have another student with me and we've got on well for the last few weeks.

This week it's like something has changed and she's taken a dislike to me. She seems to be quiet and sullen around me, I don't understand why. Today we saw a couple of patients together and no exaggeration, every thing I did she undermined, contradicted or criticised. At one point I was talking to the patient and readjusting their bedding and she actually barked at me to put the bed rail up. I gently explained that it was never my intention not to, but she just ignored this and continued to order me around.

I don't really like the way she speaks to the patients, finding her shrill and patronising towards them. I've always dismissed this as her just trying to be kind though, and prior to this her experience was working with children, which I appreciate takes time to adjust to working with adults. This is especially grating though after her taking any opportunity to criticise me, when I feel that whilst not perfect, I am doing things respectfully and competently/correctly within my scope as a student.

I don't understand why her behaviour towards me has changed. I'm starting to find it quite irritating though, as I would never dream of undermining/criticising/barking orders to anyone as a student. I might discreetly speak to a senior if I had a genuine concern about someone's conduct or safety, but that would be the most extreme case I can think of.

How do I put up with this for another three weeks??

That sounds pretty awful. Have you got a mentor or staff member working alongside you? If I noticed this happening in my workplace (radiography), I'd try and separate the two of you and palm the more difficult person off onto one of my senior colleagues, who don't stand that type of behaviour.

Also, do you have a student link tutor you could talk to?

Thanks so much for replying. Unfortunately I've noticed she's being very careful to only do it when we're away from our practice educator/mentors. In fact I've noticed today that the only times she is pleasant to me now is when they're around 😔

Thank you, I did actually consider that today, and may do if she continues. I really hate the idea of sending that email though, especially as a woman in her late thirties. I just feel like it should be water off a ducks back, or I should be more assertive. I'm not really used to this behaviour as everyone I've dealt with so far at uni/work has been lovely, and I hate conflict at the best of times 😔

Ugh, I hate it when people are like that, it's so weird. And it's even worse when you can't escape it. Your calm, collected responses sound perfect, but then I'm a non-confrontational person. And it's not much help in the short-term!

Patients do notice people like your fellow student (and not in a good way), I've had patients wink at me and roll their eyes during similar encounters.

OK, I'm glad you have a link tutor, it's always a cringey sort of email to write, but may help avoid you being placed together in future? 🤞

It sounds as if someone senior has praised you … Might that be it? Is she worryingly competitive?

I really wouldn’t know how to deal with this, I must say.

Thank you. This comment really helped me today, I kept trying to remember the words 'calm and collected' and just rise above it. She wasn't as bad today with the constant interruptions, undermining etc. She did also get slightly told off for trying to interrupt me . . two words into my sentence, and she did actually apologise for interrupting. So I'm wondering if she has either realised how her behaviour comes across, or someone else has . .

Thanks, I have wondered that myself. Things seemed to change after last week, which is when we had our appraisals. I'm not sure about praise though as I've not done anything massively praise worthy I don't think, just normal student stuff. Our practice educators are also very kind and considered. I couldn't imagine them saying something like 'Oh you should do xyz more like Lastof' or something to that effect😂

I struggle to know how to deal with it to be honest, other than ignoring it. Not only is it irritating, but it's also rather distracting and not ideal for the patients. Some of them have dementia or cognitive impairments so when I'm calmly speaking to them, to then have her shrieking over me is quite confusing for them I imagine. It's also annoying as I've noticed that she watches me like a hawk ready to correct me if she thinks I've forgotten something or don't know where something like a stapler lives and so on. Very exhausting!

Hello, I've been there - but on the other side, as an educator of 2 students. One mature, and one straight from school, on a healthcare placement. In this case the younger was a very studious, highly academic individual and placed strongly within her year group but struggled a bit in the clinical environment where being super smart wasn't as important. There was difficulty between the 2 students and it transpired she was intimidated by the mature student who absolutely smashed it in a real world placement. She was able to communicate effortlessly with patients and colleagues. It won't go unnoticed by patients and colleagues, but I'd suggest trying to get a 1:1 with your placement supervisor to discuss your concerns. They will have seen this before. It isn't fair and it will spoil the rest of your placement. Good luck OP, it's a tough situation to be in but you need to nip it in the bud.