Feel like a grandma

[hcm96]

I’m only 27 but returned to college to study graphics in august. My son comes with me and goes to nursery on campus. I am enjoying the learning part of the course but finding the social element harder than I anticipated. I talk to people in class etc but haven’t found anyone to sit with at lunch. Sometimes I’m happy to have the peace mind you but other times I feel like a bit of a looser. I feel like others view me as a grandma and struggle with what to talk about as I’m a SAHM when not at college .

I’m a bit scared to approach a group of girls I think look friendly as they look “ creative “ and I think I’m quite plain and boring and don’t know if that’s weird to ask an established group of peers if I can sit with them. Does that make me more of a looser ☹️😂

My brother went through the same thing but with uni. He went back at 23. Hated being around 18 year olds so much (according to him they were too immature, I know he felt judged by them) that he dropped out, moved back with my mum and refused to go back.
He regrets it a lot. He is 36 now and still in the exact same situation, living with my mum while the 18 year old kids graduated long ago. And they most likely don't even remember him or cared about him in the first place.

Put your head down and focus on your course. You have a young child and can improve both of you guys' quality of life significantly.
You won't remember those kids in a couple years

Are there no other mature students on the course?

Yeah there are some older students but they don’t have kids so I still find it hard as I just feel like mum these days.

Why dont you find graphic designers who are Mums online? Or go to Mothers who Make meetings(very creative but accepting of all and I think graphic design is creative?)?

Please don’t let this make you too uncomfortable.
All of this is perspective (age wise, to me you are very young).
I went to uni at 37 and felt mortified, however my course had several 50 somethings and several 40 somethings.
The person it was toughest on was the 19 year old who was stuck with us all.

How long do you have at college?

Are you planning to continue to university?
Maybe you need to just put your head down and get through college, uni may be a more comfortable place for you?

Also, I found the courses sound long, 2 years/ 3 etc but in practise it goes very quickly, especially when also caring for kids.

This part of your life will be over soon but your qualifications are yours for life.

Maybe talk to your lecturer who may point you in direction of clubs or networks that will give you a sense of belonging?

Come on, @hcm96 - buck up!

You’re not there as a ‘mum’ - you’re there as a fledgling graphic designer. So you’re also a ‘creative’. I know this is the 21st century but you need to escape your self-imposed identity as SAHM.

You’ve said you’re enjoying the learning part of the course? Surely you can talk about graphics to every single one of your fellow students? And your tutors? Don’t think of it as making friends necessarily; think of it as forming useful contacts and mining for useful information on how you might progress your career.

(Please don’t think I don’t empathise! I started my degree at 21 - and felt ancient. With hindsight I wish I had pushed past that quicker and with more focus on what would benefit me.)

Thanks for your suggestions

I have since found lovely people to sit with at lunch who I can discuss design and they are more passionate so it’s good to bounce of them. The people in my class are a bit disinterested and only talk about going out or football so I’ve just made peace with the fact my class are not my people but there are others in the delay who I have clicked with😊

department * not delay

That is such a nice update! It is a matter of finding your tribe at university.

Good to hear.

Best of luck with the course.