Regretting starting a degree

[Nopeit]

I'm 46, recently separated from my ex and have two secondary aged children. I've done an Access course with good results, whilst working last year, I felt really good about myself and proud. Prior to this, I spent 10+ years as a SAHM, not so much of my own choice but my ex put me down every time I mentioned I wanted to find a job again in London (after having kids) or when I said I wanted to study. If I don't come across MN I'd still be at home not realising how bloody vulnerable I was.
I started a healthcare degree this year, moved house (not my choice and ex is paying) with the children, soon after one of our pets died.
And the course is much more intense than I thought. Next term there'll be placements and studying and I feel like I haven't had time to adjust, I don't know who I am any more and I'm not dealing with the stress well.
My children's behaviour is not great at times, they also had to deal with me being less available when I went back to part-time admin work before, then whilst I was doing the Access course when I was more stressed, the upheaval of moving house twice.
I'm thinking about quitting and just going back to doing an admin job I know I can do and I'm good at, so I'd be less stressed and have the energy to concentrate on them. I feel very guilty about the amount of screen time they're having (they love that but it's all they want now and the rage when I take screens away is horrible). I feel like I'm chucking them in for my degree.
I don't even know what kind of advice I'm hoping for...

You have been though such a lot, its no wonder you are having a difficult time. In some ways it is easier to study as a young person with parental support (if you are lucky of course) and not other ties.

Firstly don't leave it too long to speak to your Uni about how things are for you as the sooner things are out in the open the sooner they can see how they can help you.

Also we are the same age and I wonder if you are on HRT, I was really struggling and felt so much better after starting HRT a few years ago it improved my energy and mood a lot.

Is it possible to defer for a year?

I would find all this really hard to juggle. At the same time I feel unfulfilled and am browsing the mature study board…

You have been through so much and still passed the access course; a degree could give you the lift you need if you could get through this stressful settling in part. Is the placement feeling daunting so making you rethink as you might really enjoy it?

I'm already on HRT and it helped massively with sleep.

I'm in my first year... this really was my last chance.

I have no family in this country, I'm not exaggerating when I say all my friends moved out of the area due to secondary schools not being great, so my 'support network' is non-existent.

I've been in a similar situation to you OP and I gave up on doing things I wanted to do, including studies because the kids took priority. I don't have regrets about this, I'm glad I prioritised the kids, that's what they needed at the time and to be honest so did I. However, on reflection I wish I'd handled situations differently. I didn't really need to give up the studies, I just needed extra help and time. So perhaps speak to the university, they are ways around this in which you can be there for the kids and also complete your studies. Just remember, you'll all benefit from that in the long run!

I’d speak to the uni it’s in their interests for you to continue and complete.
They may let you change to another course or make reasonable adjustments to continue what you are doing. Problem is you don’t know what they offer until you ask.

Thank you both, I'll speak to the university.