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Mature study and retraining

Talk to other Mumsnetters who are considering a career change or are mature students.

Original poster

Pregnant during final year of uni. Am I crazy?

46 replies

ivyrayne · 29/10/2023 22:11

I am just starting my final year of my BA degree, and I am four months pregnant with my first baby. I am due in March, and my degree will technically finish in May, so the first two months of my daughter’s life will also be the final two months of my studies. I am fairly young (in my early 20s) and very very energetic considering I’m pregnant. I’m working very hard on my degree whilst also working a few days a week, so I think I can get as much uni work as I can done before she is born. Has anybody else done this and still been able to complete their degree on time? I’m preparing myself that it’ll be extremely hard, and I’ll be exhausted and stressed for a while, but I’m also very determined to get this degree done and graduate in July with my little girl by my side. I have a loving partner and plenty of friends nearby to help out. Looking for positive reinforcements that I’m not absolutely insane!!
Thanks!

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Original poster
ivyrayne · 30/10/2023 22:04

@ianthes wow, well done you for doing that, that sounds very stressful. Thankfully I only have assignments, not finals, so I’m lucky in that sense. Uni seems to be a lot more supportive nowadays, and all of my lecturers are aware of the pregnancy and checking in on me constantly. I can’t wait for graduation photos with my baby!

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Viviennemary · 30/10/2023 22:07

Just bad planning. Just why do folk make life extra difficult for themselves. I just don't get it.

Martin831 · 30/10/2023 22:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Pyjamasalldayplease · 30/10/2023 22:28

I was in a similar position, in the end I only missed one lecture as went into labour on the last day of the spring term! I had my mum to help around lectures and exams, and was lucky with a fairly chilled baby I think.

Being younger helps massively I'm sure. Congratulations and good luck!

ABeautifulThing · 30/10/2023 22:33

You'll be fine. I had both my babies while doing a degree. One in my first year and the second in my third year, so became a new mum and then did baby+toddler all during my degree and I was mid 30's. So, it's not a walk in the park but if you're up for it and supported for logistical juggles, you'll be fine. Knackered but fine 🤣 and you'll come through on top of the world because you feel unbeatable when you've done that! The self confidence you get from coming through a tough challenge is worth the effort.
You go for it!

Original poster
ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 09:44

@Viviennemary omg Vivienne, you’re right! I’ll just check myself into the abortion clinic then, thanks so much for the input!!
My pregnancy was unplanned and a result of my contraceptive pill deciding not to work. If you’re not going to actually say something useful to me, feel free to piss off from my thread 🙂x

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Original poster
ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 09:48

@Martin831 thank you! I’m glad your wife managed to do it under such difficult circumstances. I have a lot of support from family and my partner, so I hopefully should be okay. And it’s at the end of my degree when she is due

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Original poster
ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 09:49

@Pyjamasalldayplease well done for doing that! Hopefully it’ll be similar for me, my family and partner are very supportive. It seems like it’s definitely doable if you’re organised enough xx

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Original poster
ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 09:52

@ABeautifulThing wow that must’ve been really tough! I’m glad it worked out for you, even with how hard it was. I think being at the end of my degree when she is due is a big help, it’ll just be the final stretch and then I’m done! Xx

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Milliemoos5 · 31/10/2023 09:55

I had my baby in the November of my final year of uni (22 years ago now!). I was 22 years old

I had amazing support from my family and I did my best to carry on with my studies after he was born but I gave up in the Jan as it proved impossible (exhaustion, a bit of PND and also I was struggling to bond with the baby). So I never finished my degree. However, it did not affected me career wise and I went on to have a very successful very high paid career

alternatively a friend of mine also had her baby in the second year of uni and she went to complete her degree. There is no correlation here but she never went on to have a particularly well paid career.

so, look, If you can finish it then that’s great. But If you need to take a Year off and then go back, then also great. If you find it’s all too much then also it’s fine to make that decision.

best of luck to you! Whichever way you choose, it is all going to be ok x

ABeautifulThing · 31/10/2023 15:18

ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 09:44

@Viviennemary omg Vivienne, you’re right! I’ll just check myself into the abortion clinic then, thanks so much for the input!!
My pregnancy was unplanned and a result of my contraceptive pill deciding not to work. If you’re not going to actually say something useful to me, feel free to piss off from my thread 🙂x

Haha. Mine was entirely deliberate. Fine by me, easy is overrated. 😁 there are a million ways to do anything, and you can get something out of whichever road you go down, all shape who you are for the better if you take/make your opportunities and keep your eyes open for what it can teach you.

ABeautifulThing · 31/10/2023 15:19

Well said @Milliemoos5 👌

ABeautifulThing · 31/10/2023 15:21

@ivyrayne thank you! It was an adventure, as will yours be and having your lo in your grad photos will be such a brill thing to look back on and smile about. ☺️

Spacecowboys · 31/10/2023 15:25

I have a friend who had her baby at the end of her second year and went back to do her third year when baby was six weeks old. With the right support at home , although it will be difficult I think it is possible.

ABeautifulThing · 31/10/2023 15:25

I'm very impressed at your lecturers keeping a close eye on you btw! That wasn't true for me, so you're obviously in a good place. 👍

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 31/10/2023 15:27

Viviennemary · 30/10/2023 22:07

Just bad planning. Just why do folk make life extra difficult for themselves. I just don't get it.

There's always one!! Hmm

ABeautifulThing · 31/10/2023 18:51

P.s if you think you would like to breastfeed...
when your milk comes in after the birth, supply is usually sky high and then settles to whatever baby takes... Use that window to pump lots of stocks for your freezer so when you're at uni baby can have your milk. And giving baby breast and bottle from birth is possible, if you do that from the beginning they can accept either and it's upskilling them, if you do one exclusively for a while you'll have the devil of a job to persuade baby to diversify to the alternative... So thinking ahead is your friend.
If baby takes the bottle for a feed, as you encourage acceptance of either, use that to pump off the milk so your supply doesn't drop. Tommee tippee pump was rubbish, Medela was much better... But maybe that's for another thread...

ABeautifulThing · 31/10/2023 18:51

Cheering you on. 💪

Original poster
ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 21:06

@Milliemoos5 thank you! I don’t blame you for needing to drop out of uni, final year is very difficult. I’ll also be 22 when I have my daughter, and I’ll be close to the end of my degree, so I’m really hoping I can finish my degree. But as you say, if I don’t, it’s absolutely fine! Xx

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Original poster
ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 21:07

@Spacecowboys thank you! I’m prepared for difficult times ahead, but I’m hoping I have enough support to carry on xx

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ivyrayne · 31/10/2023 21:08

@ABeautifulThing thank you so much for all of that advice!! I’ve bought a breast pump and freezer bags, and plenty of bottles, so if breastfeeding works for me, I can have someone else feed my girl whilst I’m doing uni things xx

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