Taking a leave of absence from nursing course

[jamrolypolyandcustard]

Hello,

I'm hoping anyone here could give me advice. I'm a 29yo student nurse and in my second year at university. I have suffered on and off for months with low mood and anxiety (particularly during second year) and I have also suffered in the past before and after having my DS (now 5). I am falling behind somewhat with assignments, placement hours and just a general lack of motivation (I think this is down to uncontrolled low mood and stress), I have been offered a leave of absence for 8 months and to rejoin the cohort behind me that will be starting their second year (I would essentially just restart my second year - I am currently 6 months into my 2nd year). I have tried taking antidepressants in the past but had such awful side effects.

I feel so guilty for needing some time out and don't know what I'd do with myself in the mean time. I absolutely do want to be a nurse and don't want to give it up but I'm really struggling through it. I don't know how to tell my partner or my parents who would be furious at me taking more time out and not graduating as planned. My mum in particular isn't very acknowledging that MH issues are a "thing" and has the "suck it up" approach.

Any advice on how to move past these feelings and worries and just come clean with my partner and parents on how I'm feeling?

TIA!

It’s good to hear your training institution is supportive and giving you the opportunity to take a break.

Why would your partner be furious? Have they shown a lack of empathy previously?

I imagine your parents are easier to distance yourself from? You do not have to care what they think. You don’t even have to let them know. It’s your life, after all.

And would it not be sensible to try to spend the time getting whatever therapy you can for your anxiety? And maybe working out if there’s a tangible cause? Parental oppression and the wrong partner might make most people anxious …

I didn't word my original post properly.

My partner is wonderfully supportive and has supported me throughout really testing times, but I can't help feeling as though I'm a huge failure to him and my DS for needing a break from university.

My parents would be furious, they don't fund me whatsoever but we do live with them, I found this easier too for pick ups after school etc when I was working till 8pm and my partner does really long days at work at the moment.

I guess I just feel so guilty, but without a leave of absence I'm never going to be a nurse it just won't happen as it's knowing my mental and emotional health so much.

I have contacted my GP this morning for advice on antidepressants with lesser side effects and talking therapies. I feel positive about this but at the same time such a let down as I'm putting my career on hold for a year.

Okay …

I guarantee your anxiety will improve once you take the opportunity of this eight month break to move out from your parents’s home and no longer live under their judgemental regime. Being scared of their reaction every time you face any difficulty is incredibly damaging and infantilising.

I wanted to reply because I'm at the same stage as you - end of year two. I've struggled massively out on placement and have had a couple of awful ones. I'm fine on the academic blocks, tbh I don't find them particularly exciting but I am academic enough to get the essays churned out with decent marks, however we've started on another placement block this week. At the end of the last one I started having bad panic attacks, this came straight back. The thought of going in that hospital makes me feel ill and sick, the anxiety is overwhelming. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this, and unlike you I think my journey with nursing is at an end.

I'm lucky - my DP and family are incredibly supportive (DP says its simple - if you don't want to do it, don't do it!) but I understand the feeling of failure. If you wanted to PM me to chat than feel free.

I recognise your user name. I'm so sorry you feel this way ☹️

I just feel so torn and such a let down, I really want to take the time just to get my head calmer and my moods better and actually able to deal with my anxiety but I just don't know what's for the best anymore.

I'm sorry you are finding it hard too. You aren't a let down - my DP says that anyone who says you are a failure for struggling with something isn't someone you need to listen too. Sometimes things just get too much, and nursing is a hell of a tough course.
I think in your case some time would do you good.

Thank you so much for being so kind, at the moment it's so much appreciated when I just feel so down about it all.

Oh trust me, I know exactly how you feel. You need to take care of yourself, this course can have you drowning. You need to get your head back above water and breathe.

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Well done on speaking with your GP about it, I know from experience how difficult that can be.

If you haven't already I'd recommend speaking to you uni mental health/disability service so they can work with you on putting support in place for you when you return and if you haven't already have a look or discuss with them about applying for Disabled Students Allowance (DSA) which covers mental health and offers additional support.

Also have a chat with your fees/money advice team as they can advise about your fees/bursary etc and make sure you say you are taking the break due to ill-health.

Let us know how you get on. As a future nurse I'm sure you'll agree that your health is the most important thing here. Take care.

@OrlandointheWilderness please do speak to someone at your uni before you make the decision to leave the course as they may be able to put support in place for you.

Thank you for your reply. It was really kind and genuine and made me feel a lot more at ease.

I've decided to take the LOA and contacted the uni well-being team. I'm just trying to pluck up the courage to tell my parents about it all.

DP has been very supportive of me and knows I'm determined to do the course but I just need some time out first.

When explaining to DP, I couldn't help but think what a fool I sound and it just sounds silly to say it out loud that I could let my own MH come in between a university course.

Hi I know this an old thread but I am on a similar situation and wondered how you have gotten in with your leave of absence etc how you have found it?

Hi, it was the best decision I ever made and really feel as though (when I return in January 2024) I'll be a better nurse for it and better person all round.

My uni were very supportive and my family but at the end of the day the only person that's gonna look after my mental and emotional wellbeing is me, that's when I knew I needed too do it as no one else is going to be able to solve the issues I had.

Thank you so much for replying! So glad it was the best decision for you...it's such a difficult decision to make isn't it... It's the financial side that is my main concern with student maintenance and bursary etc. Was that relatively easy to sort out and was there any help? Thank you so much for replying as it's helped me look at benefits a bit more. I am 90% sure I will take a break for similar reasons to yourself.

Student finance took ages to confirm that I had stepped off (around 10 weeks)

I have just had to reapply again for the student finance for my second year but they went through everything with me so I knew the best course of action.

I did have to apply for Universal Credit due to having no income but again this was very straight forward.

Okay thank you that's all good to know, yeah will have to apply for universal credit but I assume they will expect me to look for work though which kind of defeats the point of a break 🤔🤔

Okay thank you that's all good to know, yeah will have to apply for universal credit but I assume they will expect me to look for work though which kind of defeats the point of a break 🤔🤔