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Mature study and retraining

Talk to other Mumsnetters who are considering a career change or are mature students.

Original poster

End of my Nursing degree...

23 replies

blonderoastvanillaicedlatte · 30/03/2023 07:49

Hello,

Just to try and sun up, I've decided that nursing just isn't for me and it's been a long road of stress and tears to get to this point. I'm currently three months into second year and the university have advised I take a year out.

By the time I would qualify I'd be 30 and I just feel like such a failure going back to "square one" as it were trying to find a job, I have a DS(4) and I just feel as though I'm failing him massively, my partner is very supportive.

Luckily I've always had the fallback of being a previous admin assistant and have good experience, I just can't shake the feeling that I've dropped out again (originally I started Sept 2020 but with covid it was all too much and the first time I was away from DS)

Any advice for anyone that's been in this position and where do I go from here with navigating to a role I'll be happy in?

TIA :)

OP posts:
Bodybags · 30/03/2023 07:55

It’s ok though isn’t it. It’s ok.
I recon it’s fucking amazingly brave. I say I’m a bit in awe of you actually.
Major decision, perfectly right for you, made in good time.

No. Don’t be apologetic, don’t say the word fail, hold your head up and you know, Chuck it in the fuckit bucket and crack on with the life that IS right for you.
The end.

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 07:57

Hiya, I feel your pain. I'm in exactly the same situation. I'm nearly at the end of year two, and following a horrific placement that has led me to have panic attacks the uni have suggested I take an interruption of study. I'd come back in jan and restart this placement.
On one level it is sheer relief to have time out. On another it feels like complete failure.

I'll return and finish mine, I want to be a nurse but obviously if you don't then you haven't wasted any time at all. You've spent time trying something that hasn't worked, it certainly isn't the end of the world. Is there any other area of interest you could explore?

Lougle · 30/03/2023 07:57

Honestly, if you feel like this now, you'll feel worse when you actually have to do the job. If you know it's not what you want to do, then stop.

Paperdolly · 30/03/2023 07:58

Bodybags · 30/03/2023 07:55

It’s ok though isn’t it. It’s ok.
I recon it’s fucking amazingly brave. I say I’m a bit in awe of you actually.
Major decision, perfectly right for you, made in good time.

No. Don’t be apologetic, don’t say the word fail, hold your head up and you know, Chuck it in the fuckit bucket and crack on with the life that IS right for you.
The end.

Great answer and I totally agree.

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 07:58

Bodybags · 30/03/2023 07:55

It’s ok though isn’t it. It’s ok.
I recon it’s fucking amazingly brave. I say I’m a bit in awe of you actually.
Major decision, perfectly right for you, made in good time.

No. Don’t be apologetic, don’t say the word fail, hold your head up and you know, Chuck it in the fuckit bucket and crack on with the life that IS right for you.
The end.

I love this reply.

Original poster
blonderoastvanillaicedlatte · 30/03/2023 08:01

Bodybags · 30/03/2023 07:55

It’s ok though isn’t it. It’s ok.
I recon it’s fucking amazingly brave. I say I’m a bit in awe of you actually.
Major decision, perfectly right for you, made in good time.

No. Don’t be apologetic, don’t say the word fail, hold your head up and you know, Chuck it in the fuckit bucket and crack on with the life that IS right for you.
The end.

Your reply has me in tears at your kindness during what seems like a crap time. I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders right now, I understand that nurses are leaving in droves I just never thought I'd be one of those and it's exactly right, if I don't feel like I can do this job when I'm a student then how on earth will I when qualified.

Thank you again so so much x

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 08:02

Can I ask what has led to you feeling it isn't for you?

Original poster
blonderoastvanillaicedlatte · 30/03/2023 08:06

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 07:57

Hiya, I feel your pain. I'm in exactly the same situation. I'm nearly at the end of year two, and following a horrific placement that has led me to have panic attacks the uni have suggested I take an interruption of study. I'd come back in jan and restart this placement.
On one level it is sheer relief to have time out. On another it feels like complete failure.

I'll return and finish mine, I want to be a nurse but obviously if you don't then you haven't wasted any time at all. You've spent time trying something that hasn't worked, it certainly isn't the end of the world. Is there any other area of interest you could explore?

Hello, I'm sending you my love and can relate to how hard it is. My uni have done the same and suggested a year out, I wouldn't leave altogether just so I have that safety net for a what if in the future. I just feel with the current situation and state of the NHS I feel so out of my depth and I have to weigh up my mental state doing this role.

The replies on here are something I wasn't expecting at all.

I'm just trying to navigate my feelings towards my next steps, I do have a meeting with my personal academic tutor soon to discuss if there's any alternatives or anything else, so far I'm unsure what to do from here.

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 08:11

Yes I feel out of my depth too, I've had some lovely experiences but the wards are awful. They are such bitchy places to work!

It feels awful doesn't it, but we will get through this. It won't be forever, it's only another year and we can have a breather and smash out the last bit.

It feels so humiliating telling people though.

Original poster
blonderoastvanillaicedlatte · 30/03/2023 08:11

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 08:02

Can I ask what has led to you feeling it isn't for you?

Apologies I've just seen this reply.

I had a really awful placement last year but just tried to push through and this year I've had a really good placement but I just don't like the nature of being pulled every which way; I'm not a ward person and I know that. This is why I don't want to close any doors because there's so many avenues of nursing.

We had a mid way point meeting with our tutors this week and when asked what we could imagine ourselves doing as a role, mine involved anything but nursing.

OP posts:
Rollinghill · 30/03/2023 08:13

You are right that there are so many different aspects of nursing. You may prefer research. Any chance you can switch your course to do something related? Biomedical science? Idk.

Original poster
blonderoastvanillaicedlatte · 30/03/2023 08:14

Rollinghill · 30/03/2023 08:13

You are right that there are so many different aspects of nursing. You may prefer research. Any chance you can switch your course to do something related? Biomedical science? Idk.

To be honest I'm not very clued up on what it out there, I really like the idea of doing something in healthcare but I'm not entirely sure what.

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 08:19

I hate the wards. For me, I did a couple of shifts in a&e and loved it, and community was going to be my elective. I'd also considered theatre, but I haven't had the opportunity to do much but wards. This last placement has been awful, it's taken such a toll on my mental health

Original poster
blonderoastvanillaicedlatte · 30/03/2023 08:29

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 08:19

I hate the wards. For me, I did a couple of shifts in a&e and loved it, and community was going to be my elective. I'd also considered theatre, but I haven't had the opportunity to do much but wards. This last placement has been awful, it's taken such a toll on my mental health

I've always wanted to do theatres or GP. I just know wards aren't for me in any way.

I just need to sort my head and get round this as it feels as though it's all weighing me down at the moment :(

OP posts:
Oceanrudeness · 30/03/2023 08:44

Hi op, I'm a nurse but did learning disabilities nursing which is much more community based. Unbeknownst to me when I signed up, we had to do a general placement in a hospital for our first placement. If I'd thought I had to do that for 3 years I would've left there and then. I qualified 6 years ago now and love it. So would transfering onto the learning disability course be something you'd consider? Or even something like Occupational Therapy? Or even podiatry? Physio etc.? So you're still helping people but without having to work on a ward.

Having said that if leaving uni is what you want to do, then you haven't failed, far from it. It's brave and shows self-awareness. I 'dropped out' of a previous course and loads of people commented that they'd wish they'd done the same but hadn't had the confidence to own up to it, so struggled on!

Urghfedup · 30/03/2023 08:48

I’ve just left nursing (massive mental health breakdown). But please, please don’t think nursing is all ward work. I was terrible at ward work (but loved it at the same time) as struggled meeting the needs of 20 patients and was terrified of missing something. I’ve never worked on a ward until I did bank work and then I’d been qualified 13 years.Please consider intensive care, theatres, outpatient departments, A&E and the community. The second year of university is the worst and the third absolutely flies by.

Sunshineandrainbow · 30/03/2023 08:57

Makes me so sad to hear people are having awful placements. Does this get addressed?

I dropped out of my uni course 25 years ago and have since worked at a band 4 level.
People are even now still trying to push me to do the apprenticeship but I just know I wouldn't get through it so I continue as a band 4 with no regrets.

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 09:09

Bad placements don't get addressed. I've raised concerns about this one and my first one but the uni are very short of placement places and I think it'll take a lot for them to not send people to one.

Babyroobs · 30/03/2023 09:14

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 08:11

Yes I feel out of my depth too, I've had some lovely experiences but the wards are awful. They are such bitchy places to work!

It feels awful doesn't it, but we will get through this. It won't be forever, it's only another year and we can have a breather and smash out the last bit.

It feels so humiliating telling people though.

Please do not feel humiliated. Far better to quit or take time out now than 30 years down the line like I did. I was having panic attacks and anxiety from the start and never should have carried on but back then there was no support or guidance form the tutors. I feel I wasted my life being a Nurse and coping with the anxiety I suffered, and like you say the bitchiness. Five years ago I quit and moved to another area/ career and it's been an eye opener to see how different life can be. I feel near normal in a different job !

FrankColumbo · 30/03/2023 09:15

Being qualified is actually a lot easier than being a student nurse, I found.
It took me a long time to qualify, due to taking time out for various reasons. I agonised over whether I was doing the right thing or not by continuing with the course
I'm so glad I did complete it though. Like you say, there are many different avenues you can go down once qualified.

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/03/2023 09:18

Yes I can see that @FrankColumbo - I said to my DP that it is the only time you'll be working in a job that you are forced to be at, in an area you never would've picked, and unpaid! If you are ill you have to make up the time, the pressure is unreal. The placement I've just done I never would've chosen in a million years to work on.

FrankColumbo · 30/03/2023 10:01

@OrlandointheWilderness all while also doing the academic side of a full time university course 🤯

FrankColumbo · 30/03/2023 10:02

The "upside" of staff shortages is that you're probably going to be able to get a job wherever you want to work

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