final year textile design and having demanding kids

[Widdlywoo2u]

I'm doing a degree in textile design at a reasonably good art school. Im in my final year which is split 60% design studio 40% dissertation. My partner works nights so I'm on a strict timetable when at university and my weekends and evenings are looking after two neurodivergent kids with no time for individual study. My partner does help when he can but his shifts off, in blocks of weeks rather than days, never coincide with my curriculum deadlines. He cant ask for specific weeks off as its based on his shift schedule and he's kept annual leave for the end of my academic year so I can get ready for my degree show and the industry shows after that.

I don't know if I cant do it. My eldest is 10 my youngest 5 and they both want my attention all the time, they never stop talking and when they're not demanding my time they're being really noisy or fighting. The studio portion of the course expects way more of my time than the 60% credit I get for it and they tell me to do my dissertation at home at night. How am I supposed to fit in the time to do a dissertation when getting home means making dinner, doing homework, washing, baths and bedtimes? I know its only a year to go but I'm exhausted already and im only 6 weeks in. I'm constantly ill because if its not the kids bringing it home its the persistent sneezing bogie sharing twenty year olds.

I'm more than capable of doing this work but I just don't have enough hours in the day. I cannot cut back on anything other than sleep and as it is I only get about 6 hours if I'm lucky.

How do I get through this one year like this? How have others done it?

Where is your husband through the week/weekends? Presumably he doesn't work 24/7?!

Do you have your deadlines and his shift dates? You need to plan in any work you can do when he's off and also maybe the odd night where you do an easy tea and allow the kids screen time so you can do a chunk on a night.

It will be hard op but you are so close!

Also can any family/friends help with the kids on a weekend?

He sleeps during the day. He works 7 nights for 2-3 weeks then he has just over a week off before the next round starts. He cant change his shifts and his work is quite specialised, he couldn't leave that job and walk into another that pays anywhere near the same. What he does is somewhat irrelevant as it is what it is and we're stuck with it. He hopes to retrain once I've completed my degree, I have a related industry job lined up as long as I get a minimum of 2.1. I have no family or friends to help nearby. Most nights are screen nights so far this year but thats not enough for kids, they need an active parent too and things still need done around the house.

Nothing about my home situation can change so I need to hear how others have done this and solutions to making best use of my time 9.30-4.30... and just a sympathetic ear.

Well, you know the saying “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”? (Or something like that.)

What you need is someone to take over some of the domestic duties - and you say you have no family or friends who can help. Therefore, if your husband is even relatively well paid, you need to pay someone else to cook and clean and supervise your children. Even if only a few hours two or three evenings a week.

Neither of you can do more than us humanly possible, and you do need to prioritise your studies. Your children would be perfectly fine with someone who is not their parent for brief periods of time.