Mature study and retraining
Am I wrong for considering a huge drop in hours/wages for the sake of uni/my sanity
UnbalancedMum · 30/09/2022 09:50
Hi,
This might be a load of waffle so bare with me i'm feeling very scrambled currently.
I'm 30, have four children 12,10,8 and 6. So 3DC are in primary and eldest DD in YR8.
I currently work as a TA at their school, I'm contracted 8.30-3.30 but often in before 8 as they go to breakfast club as I do not have to pay for this and means I can get in and prep for the day etc. I work in KS1 and also teach phonics.
My husband is a HGV driver so long hours and early starts but never works away, is always home for evenings and weekends.
I am in my second year of Open Uni, studying a psychology degree. I am studying this year full time, as I have continued on my degree from 2009 (I took a very long break due to children and ill health myself) so I have until 2025 to complete so I need to do this year full time. It works out about 32 hours study a week (recommended) I'm hoping to apply for a doctorate in the future to become a counselling psychologist, so I really need to try and get a first class honours. Anyway...
I am really struggling to balance having four children, running a home, (a few pets), working 30 hours, studying full time and actually trying to stay alive and sane and have time for my family and myself!
I had a breakdown 2017 and I really do not want to get back to that stage.
AIBU to look for something like midday supervisor work? I still need term time work due to the primary DC. The time in the mornings and afternoons would allow me to bring back some balance I think. The wages would be significantly less than what I'm on (but being a TA isn't millions is it 😆) It would only be for this year then I can study my level 3 modules part time again and increase my hours/find other work.
I read about others working full time and studying full time with families and I think if they can do it, why can't i? But i'm struggling and I'm not sure what to do.
Thank-you for reading if you got this far!
Buttonmashingpickle · 30/09/2022 10:02
Firstly kudos for managing this far with so much on your plate. You have recognised that to give yourself the best chance of success with your studies something has to give and, quite rightly, you would rather that not be you mental well-being. You are right to focus on yourself and prioritise your needs to achieve your goals. Please don't compare yourself to what other people can/are doing. You are you and they are them. In my job (L&D) I see lots of people in a similar situations who give up their studies. It might hit you financially in the short term but it's an investment in your future. Good luck with your studies 👍
Somethingyesterday · 02/10/2022 17:45
Sounds a sensible plan.
What do you plan to do with your psychology degree? Further study or do you have a particular career / job in mind?
Whoareyoumyfriend · 02/10/2022 17:49
Dh is a student. We made the decision for him to stop work. We can't really afford it but his qualification is important to improve our quality of life in the longer term. We will cope. You should definitely consider quitting work, op
Kite22 · 02/10/2022 18:53
If you can afford it, then of course it is what you need to do.
32 hours a week of study, plus caring for 4 dc is more than full time work.
You can't be throwing in 35 hours + of paid work into that too.
UnbalancedMum · 02/10/2022 19:06
Thank you everyone. @Somethingyesterday The hope is to study a doctorate after this to become a counselling psychologist. But that won’t be until all DC are in secondary/able to make their own way to/from places as I may need to study in London, go on placements etc so may not be there for school drop off/pick up everyday. I’m hoping once the degree is finished to either volunteer or find work in the mental health sector to build up experience to add to my application for the doctorate.
All very much what ifs at the moment!
Thank you for all the replies it’s sometimes just enough to know that I’m not being unreasonable for feeling like I’m doing too much!
Usernamqwerty · 03/10/2022 09:18
You are doing amazingly well with so much on your plate! I have two small children, two small furries plus caring commitments and am a student but currently on hiatus until February (long story...)
If you can afford it financially, definitely cut down your hours. You are investing in higher earnings in the future, so definitely worth it to keep going with your degree x
Elleherd · 15/10/2022 01:38
It's perfectly normal for it to be a struggle to be doing too much with too few resources, in too little time. We all manage well and badly in varying degrees. Some have more or less support than others, so comparing is fairly pointless. Do whatever works best for you and yours to allow you achieve the bits that actually matter for you all.
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