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Mature study and retraining

Talk to other Mumsnetters who are considering a career change or are mature students.

Career choices - At a complete loss

8 replies

AzPie · 03/03/2022 12:27

Hi everyone just looking for ideas on what to do. I'm currently enrolled on a GCSE maths course (having failed it back at school) and I'm starting to think ahead to my next step. Originally I was going to do an access course and then go on to uni, I was thinking of some sort of psychology degree (as I'm very interested in psychology/sociology/criminology) but I have serious doubts about my ability to get and/or do a job within that field (as well as doubts about being intelligent enough).

For background, I haven't worked since my early 20's (I'm late 30's now) so don't have a lot of work experience. I've volunteered for various places over the years but struggled due to my ASD, which is what's making me have doubts about my preferred field. I have quite bad social anxiety so will struggle in any job around other people /meeting new people. In my last job all those years ago I ended up signed off for a long time because the social expectations of the office made me ill, the work was a doddle (I worked in accountancy).

Sorry I'm rambling, I'm just at a complete loss as to what to do, in a perfect world I would work from home doing something that didn't involve people but I can't think of anything that I would be qualified for (I only have a few GCSE's) or could even gain qualifications in. I saw something about coding being something you could do from home but I know it will cause meltdowns as a few years ago when I was making websites for free for people I would get so overwhelmed when there was an error and I had to spend what seemed like hours skimming through code trying to figure out what had gone wrong, I don't know if I could do that again without making myself ill. I just feel like a complete failure in life, I want to work but can't see any options because who would hire someone like me.

OP posts:
TottersBlankly · 03/03/2022 16:46

If I’ve linked this before on any other thread you’ve started or been on, please forgive me - but you might find it useful to browse the National Careers Service website.

Counselling is always the knee-jerk MN suggestion for any trouble. (As if we still had an NHS! As if everyone can afford to pay privately to jump the half-a-lifetime-long queues!) But it’s incredibly difficult to move forward while believing you don’t deserve to make progress or have any success.

What if you tried re-writing your OP without saying a single negative thing about yourself? And then see what you’re left with to build on.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/03/2022 21:03

I think you need to go see your GP and get yourself on a waiting list for CBT, as you have anxiety and self esteem issues that need to be addressed. In the meantime borrow some CBT approach books for these issues from the library and look for some online courses. It’s not the solution to all ills, but it will help you reframe your thoughts. You need to work at it.

Advice on career guidance above is good. Also have a look for women returning to work organisations and also advice about managing ASD at work. There’s quite a lot of advice.

Look for a reputable online strengths finder to help you think about careers. Listing everything you are bad at isn’t going to help you and is unkind. Treat yourself like you would a friend.

If you worked in accountancy, are you good at maths? If so accountancy and data analysis are too good areas to look at, also perhaps delivering online training. If people aren’t your strength I don’t think counselling is going to be right for you. But if you do your strengths, get some support, and go to the careers website you will find other options.

TottersBlankly · 04/03/2022 00:55

I wasn’t suggesting the OP should consider counselling as a career! Rather that she should engage with some in-depth counselling for herself in order to move forward.

AzPie · 04/03/2022 13:47

@tottersblankly I did look at national careers before and scored quite well on all of the tests but the problem is that it's a one size fits all and doesn't take into account neurodiversity. I didn't think I was being negative in my first post, just factual about the struggles I'm facing.

@Luredbyapomegranate I've been to the GP before about my anxiety, it's not bad enough for referral apparently and the GP also said it's basically part of my ASD, that I'll always have anxiety and just need to learn to cope with it. I'm not good at maths (hence re-taking my GCSE at the moment) which looking back I have no idea why I was hired as an accounts clerk, but I was young so I think they just took a chance.

Thank you both for your replies, I'll see if I can find any other support, all I've managed to find in the past is stuff aimed at young adults or services you have to pay a lot for (like £650 for a 12-week course that I can't afford).

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 04/03/2022 17:18

@AzPie

So, I had a quick google - organisations, resources (and books) for autism and work / anxiety below.

Many of these you'll know about I'm sure, but hopefully there's some new stuff there.

I would go to WHSmiths tomorrow, get yourself a big notebook and attack this like a project.

The first thing is to join the organisations that can offer help and free support, and then work through them, getting in touch and asking for help. They include free resources and forums which are really worth joining - you can get lots of support from people in the same boat.

Also - see which books appeal and get your library to order a couple so you can start working through them.

Somewhere in the links below is a programme for autism and anxiety you may be able to get onto. But anyway several of these organisations should be able to help advocate for you with your GP. GPs just don't want to spend the money unless people make a fuss (the comment that anxiety is part of your condition and you 'just need to manage it', is lazy and ludicrous - of course you need to manage it, but you need support to do so.)

Fee anxiety resource in the meantime - aimed at young people but hopefully useful -
www.oxfordhealth.nhs.uk/camhs/wellbeing/autism-and-anxiety/

ORGANISATIONS AND ONLINE RESOURCES

There always seem to be local resources also – link to search here
www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/support/

Autism – employment resources

www.scope.org.uk/employment-services/support-to-work/?gclid=CjwKCAiAjoeRBhAJEiwAYY3nDIwjrqht_B6g9r_AD9zJCYW4KobHhc4EPDVBUBcRtBeE_01eLNUT3BoCApoQAvD_BwE

livingautism.com/employment-support-autistic-individuals/#:~:text=There%20are%20organisations%20which%20help,help%20prepare%20you%20for%20work.

www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/employment

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/employment/seeking-work

www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/what-we-do/employment

autismplus.co.uk/employment-support

www.espa.org.uk/enterprises/autism-works/

connectionsinmind.com/accesstowork/?gclid=CjwKCAiAjoeRBhAJEiwAYY3nDHokXi6Rup3UTLZVZHtMxZ4dmKLaippKv8flgb4LY9KKhsPe1WGYrxoCrSkQAvD_BwE

matthewshub.org/advice/improving-employability

www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/professional-development/training-and-conferences/employment/understanding-the-workplace-for-autistic-women

exceptionalindividuals.com/jobs-for-people-with-autism/

www.scottishautism.org/services-support/family-support/women-and-girls-online-support

www.evenbreak.co.uk/en/advertising-jobs?gclid=CjwKCAiAjoeRBhAJEiwAYY3nDN9yiGn60a9P5lyVbZNeb5VmQa6MXDbu4eCVQFCCXc3SNSazWVYD9hoCXZIQAvD_BwE

Support for Women with (various) vulnerabilities to get into work:

www.womens-work.org.uk/our-work/our-training/

smartworks.org.uk/

www.dressforsuccessgl.org/about

Useful articles re women and autism:

attwoodandgarnettevents.com/2019/11/08/autistic-women-in-the-workplace-by-barb-cook/

www.vice.com/en/article/vb4d89/hidden-struggle-working-women-autism-auticon

www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/now-hiring-what-autistic-people-need-to-succeed-in-the-workplace/

www.autismparentingmagazine.com/aspie-women-workplace/

Autism / managing Anxiety resources

www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/professional-development/training-and-conferences/autism-and-mental-health-2022?gclid=CjwKCAiAjoeRBhAJEiwAYY3nDB7_a0l_0uUogvAcheUAxJbnO4qG-e8XNaS8MnXRxAtbBlyYsOU8QBoC2vQQAvD_BwE

www.autistica.org.uk/our-research/research-projects/anxiety-treatment-autistic-adults#:~:text=The%20recommended%20treatment%20for%20anxiety,autistic%20people%20may%20struggle%20with.

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/anxiety

www.autistica.org.uk/what-is-autism/signs-and-symptoms/anxiety-and-autism

www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/unmasking-anxiety-autism/

resourcesforautism.org.uk/anxiety-management/

www.autismtoolbox.co.uk/anxiety

www.city.ac.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0010/466039/Anxiety-in-Autism-A5-guide.pdf

BOOKS

Books – autism - finding careers

www.amazon.co.uk/Developing-Talents-Individuals-Asperger-High-Functioning/dp/B09RFZCPPR/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&crid=20W0KWHNKHQ5J&keywords=autism+careers&sprefix=autism+careers%2Cstripbooks%2C51&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412912&sr=1-3

www.amazon.co.uk/Mploy-Readiness-Workbook-Development-Difficulties/dp/1785927302/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&crid=20W0KWHNKHQ5J&keywords=autism+careers&sprefix=autism+careers%2Cstripbooks%2C51&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412940&sr=1-5

www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Getting-People-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1849059217/ref=sr_1_14?s=books&crid=20W0KWHNKHQ5J&keywords=autism+careers&sprefix=autism+careers%2Cstripbooks%2C51&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412940&sr=1-14

www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Friendly-Guide-Self-Employment-Robyn-Steward/dp/1787755320/ref=sr_1_18?s=books&crid=20W0KWHNKHQ5J&keywords=autism+careers&sprefix=autism+careers%2Cstripbooks%2C51&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412940&sr=1-18

Books – Autism – coping at work

www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Working-Seven-Stage-Plan-Thriving/dp/1787759830/ref=sr_1_16?s=books&crid=YOC59DFSCMQM&keywords=autism&sprefix=autism+%2Cstripbooks%2C56&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412829&sr=1-16

www.amazon.co.uk/Aspergers-Syndrome-Workplace-Survival-Guide/dp/1849059438/ref=sr_1_12?s=books&crid=20W0KWHNKHQ5J&keywords=autism+careers&sprefix=autism+careers%2Cstripbooks%2C51&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412940&sr=1-12

Books – autism / managing anxiety

www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Anxiety-Depression-Autism-Spectrum/dp/1849059276?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

www.amazon.co.uk/Overcame-Autism-Lousy-Anxiety-Disorder/dp/1771622466/ref=asc_df_1771622466/?hvlocphy=1006886&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=500798696358&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-918942999048&hvrand=12992775504033550351

www.amazon.co.uk/Beating-Anxiety-People-Autism-Spectrum/dp/1785920758/ref=asc_df_1785920758/?hvlocphy=1006886&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310834580283&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-492227017894&hvrand=12992775504033550351

www.amazon.co.uk/Asperger-Syndrome-Anxiety-Successful-Management/dp/184310895X/ref=asc_df_184310895X/?hvlocphy=1006886&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310856639426&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-471993850531&hvrand=12992775504033550351

Books – managing autism / the autistic brain

www.amazon.co.uk/ASD-Workbook-Understanding-Spectrum-Disorder/dp/184905195X/ref=asc_df_184905195X/?hvlocphy=1006886&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310973726618&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-684728276152&hvrand=17258089711366306324

www.amazon.co.uk/Autistic-Brain-Temple-Grandin/dp/1846044499/ref=sr_1_11_sspa?psc=1&s=books&crid=1HDCL21P923Q0&keywords=autism+anxiety&sprefix=autism+anxiety%2Cstripbooks%2C55&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzU1FISVFDWEcxREcwJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTcwNjQyQldGWE9DUFNLVFgzJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA0Nzc3MjIxSk1KV09MTUJVME5HJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfbXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412708&sr=1-11-spons

www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Adults-Luke-Beardon/dp/152937541X/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&crid=YOC59DFSCMQM&keywords=autism&sprefix=autism+%2Cstripbooks%2C56&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1646412792&sr=1-9

www.amazon.co.uk/But-you-dont-look-autistic/dp/9090334173/ref=asc_df_9090334173/?hvlocphy=1006886&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=500806356660&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-1021022884304&hvrand=17258089711366306324

AzPie · 06/03/2022 08:22

@luredbyapomegranate

Thank you so much for all of that information, I'm going to work my way through all of the links and will hopefully find something that helps, thanks again!

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 06/03/2022 08:30

Welcome.

Be persistent, join some boards to get support, and reach out and demand help. It’s a tough thing to manage, but there’s way more awareness than there used to be. The squeaky wheel gets attention so be demanding.

spotcheck · 06/03/2022 08:40

Have you thought about taking an AAT course, which you can then build on?

If your natural talent is IT related, and you taught yourself to code, you may be able to swerve some of the problems you had previously if you took courses. You may find it easier to troubleshoot if you had more knowledge behind you

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