I am soo fricking tired....

[snowmama]

Hi all..

I am a sporadic poster in my postnatal thread, occasional poster in relationships.. and long timer lurker of MN..

Am writing here, because I have nowhere else to write it, and also someone might have similar experience/tips to share.

I separated from my ex in February, have two children 16 months and 3 and a half. Due to issues with my ex, he sees them for joint activities - but we are not yet at a stage where they go to his overnight.

I work full time (best for me, will not change) including a long commute, have family help getting the kids to nursery in the morning and evenings and do all related housework, cooking for the week etc at the weekend.

But I am so tired this weekend - I just cannot get going. Laundry needs doing, every room in the house looks like a giant has given it a good shake and I need to cook our meals for the week... kids need entertaining and I have a headache.

Where do I start ?

You poor thing. I'd have a paracetamol for the headache and a strong cup of coffee for energy and set the kids up to play outside or even in front of a dvd.

Take it one room at a time and give yourself a break and a cuppa after you've sorted each job. Maybe do the cooking tonight when the kids are in bed?

Thanks...yes, just in the process of doing that - though just have accept that everything will just get done very, very slowly this weekend!

I started a thread just the same as this one yesterday

I think the heat/humidity does not help either

My Dcs are staying with their dad this weekend for the first time in 3mths and instead of catching up on chores, I am lying on sofa watching TV and MNing

LOL Simpson, I think you are doing exactly the right thing!

Skip the housework for one week, I often skip mine for several!

Or just do the bear essentials if you simply can't (laundry, washing up, sweep floors and clean the loo and sink). It can't be too bad if you're on top of it and out at work most of the week anyhow...

And as to the dinners, they won't suffer too much if you get a couple of ready made meals (pizza, nuggets) and or take away or even slap some burgers on one of those disposable BBQ's. It's just for one week and it is summer after all! And if you reallly have to cook simply make up a huge batch of bolengaise and freeze in individual day batches. Then you can have spaghetti, chilli/rice, tacos etc and you've got at least three meals out of one cook.

You need a break and being able to put your feet up or sit in the paddling pool with the dc's is really important too.
It is simply too hot to be slaving over a hot cooker. And who wants to eat lots of heavy food in this heat too in reality.
DOn't give yourself a hard time, go and have a well earned nap when the children have theirs. Or put on a dvd and chill out together.

Thanks Gillybean,

Sadly,even with my best efforts the house always looks pretty trashed - so right not looks/feels beyond awful. But nothing beyond bare minimum is getting done this weekend!

I think I do just need some relaxed fun time with the kids to re-charge!

Don't worry about the state of the house. Mine is really dire but you know what, there is time to do dusting and the rest of that stuff when our dc are grown. But we can't make time to play with and enjoy them once they're all grown up and left home....

This weekend I have changed all (both) the beds, last lot of sheets in the machine now. On friday I baked cakes for the school fete and have finally got the resulting mountain of washing up under control (not finished but end in sight). I cleaned the loo and picked up rose petals in the garden.
And you know what, I think that's plenty. Not least because it's getting too hot already. There's no point sweeping as ds and neighbour's dd will be running in and out to the paddling pool all day. And I'll put the sheets back on the beds once they are dry.

People are always apologising to me for the state of their houses. And their houses look just fine to me. I tell them to come see mine if they want to see a real mess. They don't believe me, coz see really they know their houses are just fine and assume I am saying the same... till they do pop over!

I used to worry and be embarrassed to have people over, but you know what, it wasn't that bad when I did bite the bullet and invite people in. And I know a couple of people who live in as much chaos as I do and they're married and SAHM's, so if they can't fit everything in how am I meant to when I am on my own, work and volunteer at school in my 'free' time!?

One mum came over just before xmas and said my house smelt of lovely clean laundry (piles of the stuff hanging up inside to dry as no tumble drier) and she also said it looked very festive and how she must get her xmas decorations up (had tinsel and piles of presents and stuff everywhere for the school xmas fete). And just last week another mum was admiring my lovely garden saying she wished she had flowers in her garden and started asking me about my pots and how easy they are to keep with footballs flying boys running around. Whereas I wish my house was as modern and tidy as hers and escape to my garden to avoid the housework and choas inside!

One time my mum brought someone over to see my house (yes don't ask), and my mum apologised for the state it was in The very kind lady (who was a vicar I might add) said that it looked homely and lived in and she loved all my ds's art work stuck over the walls everywhere. My mum's face was a picture (my mum has always been anal about housework and constantly moaned at me at the state of my place).

So you see, no matter what kind of mess you think your house is, there's always something someone else sees that you don't.

So stop worrying and go enjoy the wonderful weather with your dc. We're having a water fight here soon, I just filled the paddling pool up with ice cold water and am going to dig out the water guns and some jugs and containers. It'll be great!

" Every room in the house looks like a giant has given it a good shake"

I love that so much.

I think one day you should write a children's story book.

You could call it Snowmama.

Snowmama, I have my DH on hand but I have been feeling exactly the same way and so has he. Go easy on yourself. Ready done food or beans on toast won't matter for one week, and everything else can wait until you have all actually run out of clothes altogether. Take time to sit down with a cuppa and it will actually help you get more done. Plus are you sure you're not anaemic? I bang on about this everytime I read a thread where someone says they're really tired but so many women are and don't know it. I hover on the border of anaemia most of the time and have to take iron when I need it. Spatone, the iron supplements in water (as opposed to pills) are good.

Agree you should write a kids' book too! You've definitely got the name already.

Wow - you don't know how much you all have cheered me up!

Yes, I do need to start inviting people over - everyone else's houses looks so lovely and domesticated, I just feel unable to invite them back. However, my DS loves visiting and want people to visit him - so will change that.

Good point about anaemia as periodically I feel the urge to cook and eat a whole packet of chicken livers, which suggests a 'slight' need for iron..

... have always loved the idea of writing a kid's book - so who knows ;) (just not right now LOL)

When you write it please can you name all the charactas (can't spell) after the posters on this (your) thread.

Then one day in a few years.....when I'm in a children's bookshop... I'll see your book...about the giant........and I'll know it's you.

LOL.. that is fantastic ;)

Ugh no!!!
Does this mean you're going to name and shame my mess me in your book!?

Maybe I need to name change quick!

Hi Snowmama, at the moment i feel exactly the same as you. I also work fulltime and i am also a carer for my parents, my dad is disabled and my mum is registered blind and i have just run out of steam!!
My children are older than yours but am not sure that actually make things easier. I try to run round the house with the hoover once a week upstairs and once downstairs then i do bathroom and kitchen floor at the weekend as well as blitzing one room in turn, this weekend i moved all the furniture and completely cleaned the living room, next week i will do dds bedroom and so on. Its the only way i can keep on top of things.
Sometimes you just need to do the bare mininum and put your feet up for, dont feel bad about it.

this thread has cheered me up no end. Thank you.

I feel just like you all too (and so do some of my RL friends)

And GB my mother also - have just posted on another thread to say I have just been talking with my mum about the fact that I may have to clear the kitchen becase landlord might do some work when we are away in three weeks time.

I said I don't know when I will havae time - work full time, single parent two dcs and she said well you should stop drinking wine of an evening (I don't every evening) and just do it.

She has no f@* idea how tired I am at night fgs it's about as much as I can do to cook a meal put something in the oven and wash up.

Thanks all again I do think we are more normal with our lived in houses than the uber tidy getting up at 5am type of people.

All I need to do now is shake of my paranoia about it - due to mainly anal mother and control freak exh (he used to come back after a business trip and moan to me about state of hte house)

Feeling Old - I am officially in awe - how do you do it all ?? I will definately take your advice and do just what needs to be done.

Sincitylover - I have always been the 'chaotic' member of the family. Got the control freak ex complaining about my lack of ability to keep a house clean and a family that tut sadly at my housekeeping skills.. I think I am just getting to the point of accepting myself as just normal...This thread has really inspired me to shake my paranoia off and invite people over ! (which is not what the original point was about at all).

Snowmama - thats my problem i dont do it all !!
If you were to come my house right now you would see what i mean!! But i will swish the hoover round in a few mins downstairs so that it looks fairly decent. I will then do tea and get washed up, then do pack ups, then its off to my parents house to do a few bits for them then i usually do some paperwork and i should finally get some me time then, usually about 9 when i have a shower and get my pyjamas on and finally plonk myself down in front of the telly or the laptop or both!!
My rule is that whatever isnt done by 9pm doesnt get done. I think we need and deserve some wind down time before bed.