single mum pregnant, advice needed

[Jay2]

Hi there,

I am a single mum to 2 kids aged 6 and 8. I had a lovely new relationship for six months, one slip up, took morning after pill, but am now pregnant. The father has made it clear he wants nothing to do with it and has left my life completely. Has anyone been in this situation? - how would you explain the pregnancy to the current children? will it have an impact on the child not having a father at all while the other two go and visit theirs every holiday?

thanks

I am in this position as we speak. Im 32 weeks pregnant with twins, the dad isnt interensted. My dd is 5 and i havent explained about them having a different dad to her.

Congrats Jay2, and starshaker.

I would like to know good answers to children having an absence as a father as well. Mine buggered off when I was pregnant - he changed his mind apparently - and I don't have answers to all the questions the kids ask me.

I'm honest as far as I can be, and as they have gotten older I have said a little more than I used to, but I don't want them to hate somebody they are genetically connected to so obviously can't be totally honest.

But I don't know how to explain how somebody could bugger off and take no interest in his children and can't explain it with any positive spin - if that makes sense?!?

Me too. I got pregnant after taking the mornin after pill, my then partner left me when I was 12 weeks, came back a month ago & left me again today for another woman. I'm 30 weeks.

I think maybe I know how you feel. It hurts. My situation feels like he's ripped out my heart, stomped on it, peed on it, put it in a blender, set it on fire & then scooped up the sodden mess, thrown it back into the raw hole in my chest & sewn me back up with a rusty needle & iron thread.

I plan on telling my little one when he gets old enough to ask, that he does have a daddy who wants the very best for him, but he just wasn't ready for him the way mummy was.

Maybe try that? Maybe that could be something you could say to your children?

Best of luck. x

Aw LittleBeth53 - I remember that feeling so well. My ex left and came back 3 times (just to be sure like) and eventually went off with his brother's girlfriend, but nobody told me for a long time. It was his gran that told me eventually and it made things so much easier.

I know i'm not answering your questions here. Couldn't ignore your post without saying that i admire you for your desicion and wish you the very very best as i know it isn't easy. The morning after pill failed me once too. It really is all so worth it in the end