Saw Ex at Ds sports day

[uandme]

Ds had sports day today, and had rung his dad to come and watch him.
He did tell me he had done this. But i wasn't sure on how to behave when hes there. Were not on speaking terms, and plus bcos none of the mums at school know that we are separated.

Its not looked upon favourably.

Anyway i had wanted to go over and have a go at him beforehand, but when i saw him i just felt very awkward and uncomfortable aswell as teary.

I wanted to just get up and go there and then, but my friend said not to let him get to me. He didnt do or say anything just came and sat down a distance from me.

I managed to get through the events and then he went to say goodbye to ds and i just waved at ds from a distance and left.

At the time i felt like i wanted to say something , but i actually felt better afterwards for not doing anything and felt that i had handled it quite well by keeping my emotions under control.

I cant help wondering what he has made of my not doing /saying anything.

I just had to share this with everyone and if anyone has had any similar experiences.

Well done for saying nothing.

Your ds wanted both his parents there, and he would have been upset and embarassed if there had been a scene or you had got upset.

Just enjoy his sports day and try not to worry about your ex. He is there to support your (both of your) ds just as much as you are.

Hard as it must have been for you you did the right thing avoiding him and/or a scene.

So how was the sports day? Did you ds do well?

yes thanks...not aswell as he did last yr but he came 2n and yrd place. Cant remember wat for though.
I do feel better for it...but i guess i felt a little bit sad that he didnt try to speak to me or ring me afterwards.
Hurts that somewhere in me i still feel for hm but he doesnt.

I want t move on.

Well done to your ds! Sounds like he did really well. You must be so proud of him

I know you feel sad, but if your ex had come and spoken to you you'd probably be feeling sad still most likely, or maybe angry. He couldn't of won either way really.

It will hurt, and that won't go away for a long time. You loved him, probably still do. I don't think you ever stop caring about someone that you love like that and hoping that things will go back to how they were.

Your whole life, future and family were built around him. Your dream and plans for the future have been taken from you and you maybe can't see where your life is going now and so you want that security back. It is really hard, especially when it seems that he has moved on and doesn't care about you any more or isn't upset by it all. He probably is, he's just had longer to deal with it if he's the one that chose to end things. Your ds was born of love, remember that.

How you feel now is perfectly normal and in time it will hurt less. It takes time to understand and accept that. In the mean time be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve for what you have lost.

Big hugs

Thanks Gilly.
Your words made alot of sense.
I guess i do still feel for him, he was my everything. Im sad that i wasnt for him. And meant so little to him.
I want to stop hurting and just move on.