Hi All,
Please could someone offer me advice.
I am a lone parent to 3 children. I have a partner but he lives miles away due to being in the forces and I am 8 months pregnant and work full time.
I am having really stressful problems with my ex husband who lives 12 miles away. I split with my ex husband 2.5 years ago due to his constant lying and gambling.
He currently sees them wed nights and friday/saturday nights on alternate weeks (In total they stay with him 8 nights a month).
On a friday he collects them at 8pm & declines to get them earlier as he openly states "I shouldnt have freedom to visit my partner at weekends" He also attempts to bring them back early to spoil any plans I make for sundays.
Whilst they stay with him, he and his mother say the most appalling things to them about me and my family, including that I wont love them as much when the baby comes and all my money will be spent on the baby. He has even told them the baby isnt their real brother or sister.
I have tried saying occassionally that they cant go due to what he has said This makes no difference and he says ok thats fine if I wont let him see his children. Each wednesday he puts them to bed late and this makes them exhausted the next day for school. Each weekend they return home saying more negative things he has been saying about me. I am now beginning to dread them coming home sometimes because they return exhausted and tell me about all the horrible things he has said.
Whenever they go to his house he gets very stressed with them, and entertains them with the tv or gives them money to spend at Tesco. My oldest has started arguing with him and most weds is refusing to go.
My youngest 2 think the world of him and have begged to see him more but he declines saying he cant afford the petrol (he lives 12 miles away and the train fare is £2.70 return. He also says he is not going to be a babysitting service for their mother.
I have a consent order which states the amount of maintenance he is meant to pay & the date. Each month he doesnt pay till I contact him to ask where the money is and is each month not paying the full amount but by only small amounts (between £2.00 and £10.00).
He declines to discuss anything which involves the kids. On the phone he gets verbally abusive so the kids have asked him to phone them on their moblies as its very stressful when he phones. If I text, he replies that he doesnt want to receive my messages, yet regularly send me abusive messages when he is stressed with them. He has not attended a parents evening since we split up or read their school reports. He says he wants to only communicae via solicitors letters because he knows I cant afford this and he gets full legal aid.
When the kids visit him, they are not allowed to discuss their time with me, e.g holidays, days out, or my partner, their not even allowed to discuss their cats. Occasionally they have spoken to his mother on the phone, she has put the phone down stating she has to go because she has heard my partner talking in the background.
Me and the girls have a great life with lots of laughter and love, they love my partner and are very excited about the baby. But I am now beginning to get very frustrated with my ex husband and not sure what to do to avoid all this stress because it affects the kids and upsets them. Its also affecting my pregnancy health and pushing my blood pressure up. I am also not sure what to do about him not paying the full amount of maintenance payment.
Please can someone offer advice about annoying ex partners??? Also does anyone know if collecting his kids at 8pm is classed as having them for a whole night when the maintanence is calculated
Thank you :0)