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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Ex just asked me to pay him to not see DD anymore ...

15 replies

yellowishpurple · 23/06/2010 21:46

He owes me three grand that i've lent him over the last year or so on the understanding that he would pay it back when we sold our house. House is now sold and as he was reluctantly handing over the cheque he said "if you let me keep this I won't take DD off you". He went on to say that when we get divorced he wouldn't put on the paperwork that he wants her every second weekend. Instead I could keep her "like a pet".

I said "don't you want her???" and he said "not really"

Currently he blames me that she doesn't want overnight visits with him (she's 6), doesn't see it is because he screams and shouts all the time and is just generally horrible more often than he is nice.

so he offers to sell his rights to his daughter.

am still speechless. and now hate him more than i ever thought possible.

OP posts:

madrose · 23/06/2010 21:48

what a p**ck

aviatrix · 23/06/2010 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Dominique07 · 23/06/2010 21:49

He said you could keep her? And he won't see her???

Dominique07 · 23/06/2010 21:51

If he doesn't want to see her its got nothing to do with the money anyway. And he'll make you sound bad if you don't take the money, he'll make it sound like you forced him to keep away.

SingingTunelessly · 23/06/2010 21:52

That is bad.

Mind you, if he like you say "screams and shouts all the time and is just generally horrible more often than he is nice" you can't be happy leaving her with him anyway?

Poor DD. What an arse for a father.

Original poster

yellowishpurple · 23/06/2010 21:54

yeah pretty much. Think he's emigrating soon anyway so she doesn't appear to be a part of his long term future anymore.

and tbh, i'd give him the money if i thought he would sod off and never come back, but he'd end up getting back in touch with her one day and telling her i paid him to go away.

can't believe i used to love him. knob.

OP posts:

Leslaki · 23/06/2010 21:59

Poor you and poor dd. What an arse - unfortunately I feel your pain. My x tried everything to force me and dc for 2 years to move away (300 miles) as he didn't want family life and then for a year he applied to go to Oz - when they wouldn't have him and I'd decided finally I was going to move home with the dcs (couldn't take it anymore and couldn't afford to stay here as he decided he wasn't paying maintenance) he is now taking me to court to stop me moving!! Your dd is better off without him but be careful. Write it all down - dates, times , everything. Good luck.

Overtiredmum · 23/06/2010 21:59

Sounds like you and your gorgeous DD would be well-rid, what did you say back to him when he said he didn't really want her??

Original poster

yellowishpurple · 23/06/2010 22:03

i didn't say anything. Just stared at him open mouthed. And then I drove away.

Leslaki, your situation sounds crap, hope the judge sees him for what he is.

Take your point about writing everything down. Will start doing that. Thanks

OP posts:

Overtiredmum · 23/06/2010 22:04

Well done for keeping a dignified silence, not sure I would be able to exercise such restraint.

frazzle26 · 24/06/2010 20:01

My jaw just hit the floor reading your post yellowishpurple!! What an idiot, you are defo better off without him. He is definitely the loser. I'm sure you wouldn't because you sound like a very lovely mum, but just be sure that ur DD never finds out about this offer as I'm sure it would break her heart in the future.

Best of luck to you x

TheLifeOfRiley · 26/06/2010 20:34

Your poor DD.

Blef1974 · 26/06/2010 20:39

What an idiot! He doesn't deserve a daughter!

FabIsGettingFit · 26/06/2010 20:41

Take the money.

He owes you.

Spend some of it on frippery and treats for you both.

Get access legally sorted out. Sounds to me he won't bother going to court.

What a prick.

LittleLegs24 · 12/07/2010 16:01

God that is just disgusting - some Men out there completely shock me!

My DD is three and X is pretty much a miserable git and all he wants to do is get drunk in the pub and 'try' to sleep with anything that moves...

DD has started to cry out for him and it kills me because eveerytime he sees her we have an argument because he has made no plans for her or doesn't have any money to go any where with her or won't help me out and pick her up or look after her when she is sick and i need to work

The way i see it - My DD doesn't need him because she has so many people around her that love her and actually want ot spend time with her and even though the next few years may be hard with her trying to understand things - she'll grow up and understand what he is all about.

And they will know that Mummy was always there and at the end of the day - thats all that matters. x x x

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