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Helping DS's father financially

5 replies

Chocol8isLikeaBeautifulEngine · 19/06/2010 21:21

Hi everybody, separated from DS's father 2 year ago and we agreed on a shared parenting agreement, so since DS spends exactly as much time with both parents we never paid each other maintenance.
Since he lost his job last year and ran out of redundancy money, I have stepped in to add to his JSA. It's an informal 'maintenance' for him to have a bit for extras.

Recently his bank was pulling in his overdraft, big crisis because his housing benefit, JSA, my contributions would all be swallowed.. and rent bounce.. So I'm stepping in as an interest free loan to be repaid when he finds work.

I have been shocked by the number of people telling me that his financial problems are not mines, and not seeing that I don't want the stress of DS's father to be expulsed/rehoused/moving away on DS and would rather keep the status quo, everybody living in the same area, close to school, childminder and basically not change anything to DS's life.

What is reasonable, what works for you? For anyone with HB, JSA and 1 DC, how much is you additional budget,if you get any.


OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 19/06/2010 21:35

i think you're doing the right thing.

if it was the other way around and you were unable to make ends meet people would expect him to provide.

nixnjj · 19/06/2010 22:01

Iwould just like to say well done, from someone who has no input from my child father its fantastic to see people parenting together.

Who is getting the child benefit and tax credits ? not that i need to know but in most cases it is this that make the difference in budget. Also you mention a childminder could this cost be reduced from the budget with the father taking up the extra hours.

I get HB IS and CTC and CB but no maintenance and I am able to claim this for another year until my lad reaches 7

To those that are shocked by what your doing I would just point out that no his financial problems aren't your concern but your childs welfare is your priority, then tell them to butt out

GypsyMoth · 19/06/2010 22:10

is he allowed to accept extra whilst on benefits? i'd be careful of this tbh

Chocol8isLikeaBeautifulEngine · 19/06/2010 22:44

I pay full CM fees and claim WTC/CTC based on my income as a LP (but then I earn more now than when we were together, something to do about being less stressed!) and he doesn't pay anything. I get the CB but pay it back to him x 2 (that's my contribution).

With clearer figures, does it sound reasonable?

3BB: I don't know, need to look into this. Thanks for mentioning it.

OP posts:
nixnjj · 20/06/2010 01:55

Hun the fact that your helping and are concerned makes you sound more than reasonable.

I had a meeting with my LP advisor last week and we did some number crunching and i would recieve a lot more in WTC & CTC if I were working, so the way that you are doing it seems to be the smart way.

I would assume that as long as what your are giving him is "Maintance" the disregard rules should apply.

If you lo is under 7 and your ex was PWC he would be receiving

IS which I think is the same as JSA and £54'ish (too scared to check bank to get exact figureCTC and 15% of you income as maintance as per CSA guidelines.

An interest free loan is a good idea as long as you are sure it will be repaid. Depending on how long he has been on JSA he may be eligble for a Budgeting loan.

Hope this figures help you and wish you and your ex all the best.

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