A bit of a dilema

[brightwell]

I'm due to have surgery in August, (day surgery) with a 2 week recovery period. As it happens my dc are due to go to their dad for the week. Dd had already decided she doesn't want to go. I'm not sure about telling ds that I'm going in for an op. It suits me that he'll be at his dad's but if he knows he may not want to go.

How old are they?

Dd is 16 & will be able to look after herself, ds 12 & is a bit of a mummy's boy.

Does your DS usually enjoy spending time at his dad's? What is he like at home, mainly looked after or mainly friends for himself?

How far from you does your ex live?
Would your ex be able to bring dc to see you?

fends not friends

One day I will press post and there will be no typos!

Ds usually likes going to his Dad's but is usually only there for a weekend. His dad is supposedly in the process of booking ds into a 2 day rugby camp, which he'll enjoy I'm sure. Ex lives 60 miles away. I'll only be in hospital for a day but out of action for 2-3 days. My feelings are if I tell ds I'm having an op he won't want to go to his dad's, he'll be worried & want to be with me. He knows I'm having an op but I thought it would be later on in the year. If he doesn't go to his dad, ex will kick off big time.

If he usually enjoys going then I see no harm in him going to his dad's while you rest up. Is your ex aware it would be better not to tell DS about your op? I think if he will be able to keep it to himself and just enjoy the time with DS then I would go with that.

I had an operation in January which required an overnight in hosp plus 6 weeks recuperating my mum came here while I was in hosp as DS is only 5, then stayed for a few days afterwards - take all the help you can and you will recover better.

Is your eldest aware you won't be able to run around after her if she stays home?

Hope op goes well and you feel better quickly afterwards.