contact

[Bongobaby]

what do i do about contact? i,m concearned that this is effecting my childs mind.i have been in and out of court for the past 5 years.regarding access.the father is a royal pain in the butt who pays no money or support.but demands he bonds with his son.this has always been fine with me but keeps breaking agreement for contai no longer rise to him and his rubbish.pours acid over my car,drives into it,spits and scrathes it.follows male friends of mine teliing them to stay waway from me.with his girlfriend in the car!!(we split 6yrs ago).i go to the authorities to deal with this.as he is an idiot.does turn up dont turn up.now agreement in place to see child he hasnt turnt up at all in the last four times.i,m not prepared to put my child through this anymore. what will the courts say?

His behaviour with you is separate from his relationship with your dc.

Do you have an injunction against your ex to prevent him coming near you and harassing you. It sounds like you need it if you don't. If you haven't already then get someone else to deal with hand overs for contact or arrange it through a contact centre.

If your ex is causing emotional harm to your dc through contact, or lack of it, you could go back to court on these grounds.
Do you think your dc will suffer more from no contact at all, which your ex will squarely blame on you and you will have to explain to your dc?
... or do you think making the contact more formal, via a contact centre for example may be a better solution?

The courts can't force your ex to turn up for contact, but they can reduce or remove his contact if you can show it's damaging your dc to continue the contact.

Go see a solicitor, you get half an hour free. Would you qualify for legal aid? The solicitor will be able to advise you on this too.

I do feel that separating yourself from the contact and making it clear to your ex with an injunction that you mean business may improve the contact between your dc and ex. On the other hand he may decide that it's not worth persuing if his main aim in contact is to get to you.
At the end of the day you can not predict what the court will say or do, particularly in the short term where they try and get you to agree and go to mediation.