Need calming down

[onlyone]

OK - three weeks in and thought I was doing well but have been serious panic attacks today.

Other half shacking up with woman who has two kids either side of my dc. She has declared her intention to get pregnant by the end of the year as that will ensure he stays!

I can only see my dc suffering. It is all, he will not suffer, he will be welcome in our family, his father can see our dc whenever he wants, will never stop him seeing him but when new child arrives and it surely will, I know she will get very precious about them as a family ( she was a good family friend so have seen how she was wiht first two and she is demanding) and them doing things together and any time spent with out dc will be resented.

I can then see them suggesting dc lives with them as a family to make it easier all round and he can be brought up in a family and it scares me so much, I start crying.

I know people will say he would not get custody, but what is to stop a judge giving him main carer rights, better to be brought up in a family not with single mum ( who will be perceived as a career woman)and me becoming the weekend Mum.

Am in major panic mode at the moment.

Hi, I think you're on too much of a rollercoaster here. Slow it down a bit. Firstly, she's not even pregnant yet and may not be for a long time if ever! Secondly if she does get pregnant the possibilities you are talking about are a long way away. Also, if she already has 2 children and a new baby why would she want you child living with them as well. I'd think they'd have enough on their hands.

A judge is not just going to take a child away from its mother (single or not!). Presumably you are a good caring loving mother. I don't see why any judge would just take your child away. And good for you for being a career woman, that doesn't stop you being a loving mother too.

Yep give it a little time and you will start to relax into it all. Don't panic about him taking your dc, as irons says she'll have enough on her hands if she gets preggers. You'll be surprised how little time x's tend to spend with their kids when they have a new relationship to deal with.

Just stick to your guns, enjoy your time alone with DC and rise above what your x is doing with his GF. TBH she's not quite right if she thinks having a baby will 'keep him'. Having a kid so soon for them will probably not be a good thing for their relationship.

Hold your head high and act with dignity and it will pay dividends for you.

And look after yourself and your DC and enjoy your freedom.