stupid, stupid, stupid to keep letting him back into our lives!! Anybody else keep letting themselves be constantly let down by the father??

[LittleBeth53]

Ok, so even if I get no replies to this, I seriously need to vent!!!

Is anybody else as massively & monumentally as stupid as me to keep letting 'that guy,' 'the one,' who broke your heart & who also happens to be 'the daddy,' back into your lives & hearts over & over?

And I've not even had my baby yet!! He left at 12 weeks, then came back at 17. Then left again at 21 weeks & is now hoping to come back again now I'm 25 weeks. Saying all the right things, wanting to be there for our unborn child, wanting to look after us both, how he's "doing his best."

So, despite what I already know, after not seeing him for a month now, I agree to meet up with him tonight to discuss things & try & work it out. And low & behold, somethings come up. But he says "maybe" he'll be able to grace us with a selected hour or 2 of his precious time next week.

Stupid, stupid, stupid me!! I'm well aware I have to try for the sake of our future little boy but I've told him to go forth & multiply for good this time. But I know, I just KNOW that he'll be back & moron me will once again give him the benefit of the doubt AGAIN.

Please say I'm not the only one who just seems to keep letting the father trample all over me!

Advice please?!?!?!? He can walk all over me but when my baby arrives, he'd be better having just me on my own than a come & go dad.

How do I break away from this man for good??

x x x

was he doing this before baby? is he scared of becoming a dad?
don't worry there are people who done the same mistake again and again.

He was a touch unreliable before, never made set in stone plans, always waited until the last possible minute to confirm anything. Which drove me, his friends & his parents crazy! But he never left me.

I know it's about him becoming a dad, he's freaking out about it but I'm just fed up, I feel like telling him it's time to s**t or get off the pot!

Either be there, or don't!

i think he will be that sort of person thhen all your life together. this is his character.
do you think you can take it?

I don't think he can. I don't think I can either. It's like I've already glimpsed the future....

"Sorry, I can't take him today....yeah I know I promised him....and I know I promised him last time but somethings come up....you'll explain it to him for me won't you?"

Ahhhhh!!! I'm not about to subject my baby to that!! I've got to find the strength from somewhere to stop wanting him for myself, think of my child & tell him it's all or nothing. And if it's nothing, then go & stay gone!

if you are in the same environment it will be very hard to leave him out of your lives.
you need to be very firm.
to do this, you need to focus on other stuff, like work, planning your future, etc.
and you will need your family, friends around.
it is hard i know. many people have been in your place, but you can do it if you want. when it is for your baby you can do many things.

Littlebeth, I am in exactly the same position as you are - I am now 6 months pregnant, myself and my partner tried for ages for a baby, now that I am pregnant he has decided that he doesn't want to be a father, he walked out when I was 2 months, came back at 4 and is now threatening to go again. Our relationship was fine before this, now he is being very emotionally abusive, sad thing is, I know I should tell him to get out of my life but for some reason I don't! I know I need to do something before my daughter arrives because I wouldn't want my baby experiencing all of the unhappiness that my partner causes me. Would be great to talk to you, email me [email protected]

littlebeth, get him to a mutual place to meet.not at yours or his place. then tell him to GROW UP and GROW A PAIR!!!
i,m sure you didn,t make this baby on your own.you to are probaly nervous about giving birth and being a mother. so what right has he to treat you like this? day one starts from now littlebeth, put your foot down with this man oops sorry i meant boy. and tell him how its going to be before the baby arrives. set the ground rules. then if he doesn,t want to toe the line. then tell him thats fine with you. its the end of you and him. but he can be involved in your babys life at set times and routines. if he chooses not to that and pissball around, then you will clearly know that this boy is not worth your childs time.don,t put the baby through the same as you went through with him.because its heartbreaking to see.