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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

To all single parents out there....

26 replies

pollyh · 25/05/2010 15:10

.... is it just me or does the thought of something happening to you when you're at home with the children worry you sick. I have lots of friends and lots of family, but no one person that I speak to every day. I worry for example, if I tripped down the stairs and knocked myself out, how long would the children (15 weeks, 2 and 3.5) be left screaming before anyone noticed. Does anyone else worry about this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Monty100 · 25/05/2010 15:47

Polly - I guess it is a worry for you. Just try not to dwell on it. Could you teach 3.5yo what to do in an emergency?

BelleDameSansMerci · 25/05/2010 15:52

I'm on my own with DD (2.8) and I do worry about this. I used to worry a lot more when she was younger. I don't really know how to get past it other than by following Monty's suggestion.

I do carry my mobile with me most of the time (when I remember - I don't worry as much as I used to) so that if I break my leg, etc, I could still phone someone for assistance. I make sure it's next to the bed as well, in case anyone is desperate enough to break into my house, etc. It's mad really.

Chandra · 25/05/2010 17:46

TEach him to use the phone in the event of an emergency and keep the phone numbers of family and friends near to the phone and explain he can use them if necessary.

Meglet · 25/05/2010 22:16

I worry about this sort of thing all the time. My personal best was locking myself in the porch and 3yo DS had to post the landline phone through the old letter box so I could phone my sister to come and let me out .

I do speak / see my family every day but I'm going to start telling DS what to do in case mummy is hurt.

Mobile is always next to the bend and cord free landline is always charged.

colditz · 25/05/2010 22:20

I'm terrified.

or I used to be. My oldest is 7 now, and knows how to ring daddy offmy phone if he can't wake me up and make me talk to him. your oldest will soon be old enough to do this for you - in the meantime, make friends with your neighbours, try to get someone to phone you each day at the weekend and just hope for the best

It's a horrible horrible feeling, I know. I became a single parent when ds1 was 4 and nbot old enough to help with the phone.

Would your child be trustable with 999?

Tortoise · 25/05/2010 22:25

I used to worry terribly about this when my DC were younger.They are now 5,7,10 and 13 so all old enough to know what to do in an emergency.
I would try teaching your youngest what to do in an emergency.

whooosh · 25/05/2010 22:32

I do worry about it but I almost worry more about something happening to me outside the home.If I was involved in a carcrash for instance...my family are crap and how would they find out where DD was?

Have however come to the conclusion that thjere is nothing I can do about this so I shoudl only worry about things I can change.

Teaching our DCs how to use the phone in an emergency is definitely a good idea though.

AhLaVache · 25/05/2010 22:43

I wouldn't say I worry about this - or not too much anyway - but definitely think about it.
Its a horrible thought
Ds sees his dad pretty much every day and speaks to him on the phone 2 or 3 times, so I can at least take comfort that it wouldn't be days before anyone noticed something was up.
As thats not necessarily the case for you atm, perhaps you could tell someone - mum, sister? - that you do worry about this and arrange to text them say twice a day, midday and evening, something like that?

Course you'd have to think of something to say each time otherwise you'll just be sending texts saying "Still not dead!"

ineedtochat · 25/05/2010 23:25

whooosh, could you make sure there is something in your bag, in your car and dc's bag etc with emergency contact numbers on. I will be doing this now as I don't think I have anything in my car that would give the emergency services a contact number.

BelleDameSansMerci · 26/05/2010 07:24

You can use the "ICE" thing on your mobile? You know where you put "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) before someone's name on your mobile so that, if necessary, the emergency services can use your phone etc. This was a campaign-ish a little while ago but it sort of died out. I still think it's a good idea but also good to have numbers in your bag/car/etc.

nannyj · 26/05/2010 20:15

Yes absolutely! Falling down the stairs or just calapsing one day. tey not to worry too much though as there is nothing i can do

RedHairedGirlie · 26/05/2010 22:45

Gosh its got me thinking a bit more about it now too. It pops into my head every now and again but I try not to dwell on it as it freaks me out. I am on my own with DD (14 months) with no family close by and friends that just call every couple of days to catch up - so if I fell down the stairs or collapse etc.. it would be sometime before anything was noticed I think :-(...

I should really give my friends number to my folks then at least if they can't get hold of me, they could call a pal to head over to check on me or something.. such an awful thought and leaves me feeling quite alone {sad]..

swallowedAfly · 27/05/2010 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BertieBotts · 27/05/2010 09:20

Yes, I think this too - I tend to get out nearly every day and see people, mainly at the children's centre, but I have been busy the last couple of weeks and have hardly been in at all, and nobody has phoned me or noticed or anything I have been updating facebook though so perhaps people have noticed that and been reassured.

DS is only 20 months so much too young to be of any use in an emergency. I just hope that the neighbours would hear me falling down the stairs or something, but probably not - the walls are quite thick here.

The other thing I think about every now and again is that I don't have a phone upstairs at all, and hardly ever remember to take my mobile up to bed, so if I woke up and there was a fire or an intruder or anything, I couldn't call for help.

BelleDameSansMerci · 27/05/2010 23:00

Bertie I'm going to nag you to take your mobile with you... Nag, nag, nag. It's one of my key skills

pinky23 · 29/05/2010 10:45

Hi ALL

perhaps we should follow Miranda's advice in Sex and the City episode where she nominates Carrie as her " in an emergency person" all the single parents could band together in your area and have a nominated emergency contact, that might put some minds at rest?

Pinky x

Flowergarden1 · 01/06/2010 22:45

Yes, I worry about this, but less now that my DS is 4 and old enough to use the phone. He knows my parents' number off by heart, and regularly phones them himself, but whether he'd be able to do it in a panic I don't know. He can open the front door now, and we know our neighbours well, so I hope he'd have the presence of mind to go to a neighbour's house.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 02/06/2010 11:14

this made me think.

i've never even gave this a thought.

i suppose this will be partly due to ex calls everyday at some point.. yeah.. sometimes he starts a barny.. but thats rare... most of the time its simply...
"you and kids ok today?" and i say "yeah".. and we hang up.

obviously not everyone wants their ex doing this. but can you get a relative to do similar? explain why.?

oliviasmama · 03/06/2010 21:05

I worry about this too, quite a lot actually. I also worry that I'll die in the night and DD (2 and a half) will have no-one there for her when she wakes and be terrified

Unlikelyamazonian · 04/06/2010 12:54

Yep, I worry about this an awful lot too. Ds is 2.5 and I am scared like you olivias that I will have a heart attack in the night or just suddenly drop dead on the spot cooking or something, and he will a) be terrified b)injure himself while I lie there dead c)nobody will realise for a couple of days and christ only k,nows what he would do...

I try not to scare myself stupid about it too much but I do fret about it. I may teach him how to dial 999 but then he might try to dial it all the time and also he can't reach the phone anyway - double whammy as I would have to keep the phone within his reach always, and he may then keep dialling the emergency number when I am not looking/don't know he has got the phone??

I know someone would realise something was up eventually but it may be a couple of days or possibly more as I am not in touch with any family and exH farked off abroad years ago and I have never heard from him since.

Just keep hoping and hoping I stay alive long enough for him to be old enough to be ok.

BertieBotts · 08/06/2010 00:06

Belle, I have charged my old mobile up tonight and will keep it switched off in the bedroom (so as not to drain the battery). It hasn't got a SIM card in but I know that you can make emergency calls without a SIM card.

This way I always have a phone upstairs and I won't forget and leave my real phone up there all the time or forget to take it to bed with me in the first place

onlyone · 10/06/2010 22:38

I have a condition that means I can lapse into a coma easily. Rare but the potentisl.

I am now a loney with a 2.75 yr old and have established a network of texters. I text one of them in the morning and before I go to bed to say all well and alive.

If I do not do this by 0900 - or by 2200 then bells go off and they mobilise.

It feels pathetic but I realise absolute necessary and AH told me that I could cope better on my own that new bitch -he forgot so much stuff.

xxhunnyxx · 13/06/2010 00:02

I used to worry about it more when I was pregnant or even before I had kids or got pregnant.
My usual worry is when I'm in the shower, I have a fear of slipping, banging my head and gettin knocked out.
However, I think you'd be surprised at how clever 3.5 year olds are, when my bro was 2 my mum fainted and he got a chair to the door, opened the door and went next door for help. Bless lol.
TBH I think I worry less now, I'm usually too busy or too tired these days lol.

Unlikelyamazonian · 13/06/2010 16:46

onlyone I have that coma thing too. Cept mine is induced by watching re-runs of Newsnight. Throw in a coup[le of vodka lemonades and they are lethal.

Paxman the Axeman I call it...

aurorastargazer · 15/06/2010 12:05

at unlikely

i've now made sure that dd knows how to phone 999 by using role-play and sometimes she asks to play it 'i've forgotten how to play the emergency game mommy'.

i managed to lock myself out yesterday when i went out to water plants, dd was still inside as was my mobile. i had to try not to panic otherwise she would've got upset. luckily i had left the little window open that i could reach through to open bigger window. i managed to climb through that, all the while thinking all i need now is to fall and break my leg!

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