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Really fed up with nothing changing or improving

12 replies

MrsMorgan · 22/05/2010 10:06

I am so fed up, angry even that nothing ever seems to get any better.

I am turning into such a bitter and whinging, moaning person, but I can't seem to help it because it is so rare that anything goes right or that anything good happens to me/us.

Everything that I seem to want/need to do requires money and because I seem unable to get a job then I can't do any of it.

My mum keeps saying that she thinks I am depressed. I don't, i think I am just so so fed up of all of the crap.

OP posts:
whenwillitgetbetter · 22/05/2010 11:47

I am so with you MrsMorgan and I'm fed up of people thinking I'm depressed too, when all I want is a break!

I'm eager, keen, willing to work, applying for so many jobs each week that I lose count. Tired of being penniless, laying awake at night worrying about the next utitlity bill that's going to drop through the door or much needed necessity that the kids need. Then having to read posts on here about how easy life on benefit is!

BUT, it has to get better - doesn't it? and at least the sun is shining

MrsMorgan · 22/05/2010 11:53

Yes, the sun is lovely and has lightened my mood a bit today

I just want something to do that lets me be me, and not just mum of three. A job would help with that I think.

What type of jobs are you applying for ??

Fingers crossed that things will improve for us both soon x

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 22/05/2010 12:02

I'm looking for jobs too......not alot about with the right hours tho! Really can only fo sch hours as the older 3 kids can't be in the house together after sch...... They would kill each other.

That's what gets me down the most. The 11,13 and almost 16 year olds who can't be left or trusted. The little ones would be fine with a cm

but still, not many jobs about

whenwillitgetbetter · 22/05/2010 12:21

I know what you mean MrsMorgan. I've given up the dream of doing something that I'd love as it's just not feasible/possible or as you say lack of funds to get started.

I'm trying to get back into office work but having been a sahm for 6 years, I'm finding it really tough to get the interviews with so few jobs out there.

Looks like there's lots of us in the same boat though and I wonder how much easier it'll get this year with us just limping out of this recession...

But fingers,toes and legs crossed for everybody!

nixnjj · 22/05/2010 13:25

I'm the same. Can't get anything in my old field as hours are child unfriendly, can't get a cleaning job as overqualifed, can't get shop work coz no experience. I'm now looking into the possibility of starting my own business but credit rating is shot to pieces after trying to survive on benefit. Am ignoring fb as its just depressing knowing what friends, especially school gate mates are doing on this lovely weekend.

Sorry went off on a rant there but it was this or sit and burst into tears.

I do tell myself things will get better but am beginning to worry I am just fooling myself. Would go out for a walk but have run out of suncream for DS and can't afford to get any until next week and if I can't find some cheap stuff not sure what is going to give in the budget.

But yeah life on benefit is a party

gillybean2 · 22/05/2010 13:55

One good way of getting back to work is to ask around at your local pre schools. They often have vacencies. When my ds started school I did a year at ours after being a SAHM for 5 years. Then when I went to look for anotehr job they could see I was serious, willing and able to work.

I know I was incredibly lucky to find the job I did, with flexible hours, understanding boss (he was a single parent himself when his dd's were younger so had an understanding).

I would say that even with a job I am still stuck in that rut though. I earn enough to not worry too much about the bills when they come in. But I have no money for anything else. I can't go to many of the social things at work. Because I finish in time for school pick up and they tend to organise things for after work (5pm). Plus no money or baby sitter to go out anyhow!

Like you I know I'm not depressed, just totally fed up with the hand I've been dealt in life. Fed up of no help from my family, fed up of going without, of having no life other than being a mum, and no propspect of things ever getting any better. And really hacked off with people thinking I'm fine and steering clear of me if I try and explain I'm not! It turns out I have no real friends. So this is it, my life will be this rubbish for ever it seems.

MrsMorgan · 22/05/2010 13:56

I agree, finding jobs to even apply for at the moment is reallly hard. I have only applied for one this week, at Aldi.

I am lucky in that I can be really flexible with hours now, as my mum will have my kids, but even then I still can't seem to find anything.

I just find it all so frustrating. I am desperate to tidy my garden up a bit as it is rubbish, but everytime I think of a solution, I end up realising that it won't work or is too expensive.

Nix - Our poundland sometimes do suncream. Not sure how good it is, but it would be better than nothing for now.
I know what you mean though. I needed calpol the other week and had to borrow the money from my mum.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 22/05/2010 14:10

why cant you tidy up the garden? i work away in mine,do it bit by bit.

freecycle is good for getting plants/pots etc

i have been cheered up this week as i've made mine look lovely for the warmer weather.

MrsMorgan · 22/05/2010 15:00

The garden is quite big, mainly grassed except that the grass doesn't grow because behind the back fence is a row of huge trees that over hang the whole garden.

I moved here 6 yrs ago and the trees have never been trimmed back. Residents have tried loads of times to get it done but the housing always fob us off.

Anyway, this means that the back half of my garden is just dirt. My plan was to section this bit off with edging and cover it in that weed control fabric and then bark. However, I would need to replace the bark every summer because once all of the leaves fall off the trees in sutumn, then the bark will be covered and trying to clear up the leaves without picking up half the bark to will be almost impossible.

The rest of the garden is also not great , very bumpy and unlevel with bare bits. I think alot of rubbish was buried under it when the houses were built.

I think to start, I am going to get a big tin of fence paint next week and paint the fences. At least that will make those look tidier.

OP posts:
gillybean2 · 22/05/2010 17:34

Don't put bark down. I had this once and it was a magnet to every cat in the neighbourhood to use it as a giant litter tray. Get some cheap pavings slabs and put them on sand. Or gravel is better than bark, but get large gravel stones or the cats use as litter tray again!

Hodie · 22/05/2010 20:09

Gillybean2 - please don't sound so fed up. You provided me with some very practical and helpful advice not long ago. Things will start to look up for you, just hang on in there and remain focused on what you need to do. The same applies to everyone.

Mothering is a very lonely and at times, soul destroying experience, if, you are doing it all on your own. I have been a single parent for thirteen years. Come September, I will be a single parent for the second time.

I lost my dearly loved job owing to the pregnancy (I knew it would happen) and the father of the baby has shot off, (a good thing, really). My SMP will run out in February, but hey ho, I have just got to keep going for the three of us. Life will get back to normal eventually. These things take time. Chins up!

Blef1974 · 27/05/2010 19:27

I can identify with you a million percent MrsMorgan. I want to work, I want to have more for my kids, I want some quality of life. It just seems so far away at the moment.

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