Mothers 'onlies' who are sons- talk to me pls, calm me down!!.

[wheresmypaddle]

I have been a lone parent for just a few weeks. I am still reeling with the shock of DP leaving (backlash towards me needing him to grow up and help out more). So its still a daily struggle.

DS is an only child (I had a pregnancy induced brain hemmorage during the last weeks of my pregnancy and have been advised another could be fatal). He has just turned 3. He is a lovely, happy, outgoing bundle of energetic joy (and hard work ).

I am ashamed to admit I have underlying worries about being the main carer of an only boy. I guess I must have preconceived ideas that he is going to miss out by having me as him main parent.

EXDP has DS one day a week while I work, and may have him additional times once he has settled into a new place (living with friends ATM). They adore each other, but EXDP has a selfish streak and I will be left to do the vast majority of childcare.

I love DS to bits but am afraid for his future with 'just' me. I have never before wondered if things would be different if he were a girl but am horrified to find myself wondering if I would be able to make him happier if he was a girl- girly chats, shopping etc when older (strange really as I am quire a tom-boy).

I am also (for the first time), wishing he wasn't an only child. That way he would have a sibling to play with.

Can anyone who is the mother of an only son help me out here? I especially struggle to imagine him happily living with just me as an older boy. How do you get on? What do you do? Does your DS enjoy spending time with just you?

hello,

Littlemad is 4. I'm not strictly speaking a lone parent as I have a boyfriend but he lives 90 miles away so we only see him at weekends. Exh and I split when littlemad was 9 months and I worried about all the same things you mention. but funnily enough littlemad seems to have developed into a boy all by himself, he's chosen his own male rolemodels (they recently did a project a Nursery and had to take a pic of their rolemodel, he asked for a pic of him and his Grandpa - I nearly wept!)

He understands (somehow) that these men aren't replacements for Daddy but they are his special boys. We're quite a close knit family and he adores his 13 year old cousin and his Uncle.

He and I are properly close, he's an utter darling and I'm extremely proud of him. He is his own little person and as long as he feels secure and loved I figure that's the best I can do.

You'll be fine, honestly, just don't think too far into the future

I'm a lone mother with an only boy but he is only 11 months.
It's always been just the 2 of us right from the start so I've never had these fears, I can't wait for him to get older and stay up late watching films at the weekends and build dens, go fishing together etc.
You will be fine, just enjoy him and have lots of fun together.
Boys love their mums

Thanks so much to everyone who has posted on this thread (I have just see the more recent responses).

It is so encouraging (and even inspiring) to hear stories of other mums and only sons doing just fine and being a great family unit.

DS and I are doing OK and its getting easier as time goes by. I am so proud of him.

Thanks again everyone- sharing your stories has really given me a lift!!