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Are we ready for the next goverment then?

20 replies

poshsinglemum · 06/05/2010 12:34

I am very worried about the consequences for single parents. I vote we support each other in these turbulent times and stick up for ourselves as valid family units and contributors to our society.

I'd also like to eradicate the negative and outdated stereotype surrounding single parents and challenge any goverment who penalises us.

Anyone with me?

OP posts:
Hodie · 06/05/2010 19:43

What are these consequences?

What are these negative and outdated stereotypes that you wish to eradicate?

I am a little puzzled.

Betty79 · 06/05/2010 21:21

who knows!!

poshsinglemum · 07/05/2010 00:07

Hodie- are u a single mum or dad?

OP posts:
gillybean2 · 07/05/2010 08:33

The attitudes of some people to single parents is truly shocking. There are plenty of negative sterotypes!

For example when they go on about 'single mother scroungers' at work I now immediately say 'what like me you mean?' and they're all, 'we'll no, I didn't mean you of course'....

I don't think the Torries regard me and my son as a family, we are not valid in their eyes because there's only one parent in this unit. We are less equal than those families that have two parents it seems.

The torries also seem to assume all single parents are the same without any regard to how we came to be in our situation. Do they really think £2 a week is enough for anyone to stay with a violent or abusive partner?! Because I certainy don't think any amount of money would be enough!

It's generally expected that children of a single parent will turn out to do less well at school, be a criminal or a waste of space generally simply because they come from a single parent family. It's also assumed that as a single parent you get a free house and live off government handouts while sitting on your backside all day smoking and drinking. While I'm sure there are a few single parent families like that I don't know of any.

So yes I am worried about the consequences for me and my son. Whether I will be able to afford to continue to work when Tax Credits are squeezed and my childcare help is cut.

I worry for other low income families and single parents who already struggle to give their children the best they came in less than ideal circumstances.

I worry that as a single parent I will continue to be marginalised and made to feel less valid as a member of society.

So yes, I'm all for changing the negative attitude to single parents and for fighting to ensure we are considered as equally valid family units.

newyorkshire · 07/05/2010 09:14

Absolutely Gillybean and Posh. yes I am fact scared is a better word.

Gingerbread is already doing something and ironically the conservatives signed up to it. You really dont have to google for too long to find out what conservatives think of single parent families.

Labour have done so much for single families in so many ways, with poverty, workers rights, childrens education and support, low income families, womens rights and so on. I fear it will all be undone now.

In the politics section on here you find many other sp's who worry and know all this to be true.

I don't know what is happening with my job as I am public sector worker, I dont know if I can afford to stay here with my possible freeze and squeeze on ctc etc. I am so desperately worried for my and my childrens futures.

Happy to go marching!

Hodie · 07/05/2010 10:27

poshsinglemum - I am a single mother, with a teenage daughter and another child on its way. Utterly unplanned, but now, dearly wanted.

I don't shout about my single status, it has not been easy, nor will it get any easier, come the baby's birth. Let the bigots get on with it. Marriage is on the decline anyway.

The only gripe I have is with rude powerless old men. Two weeks ago, my daughter and I were on a train back from London. My daughter had her feet up on one of the opposite seats. I could not be fagged to say anything to her, in part owing to my pregnant state. However, some rude old git decided to discipline her. Right in front of me.

Arse to that I thought. I did not hesitate in calling him a nosey old man at the top of my voice, so the whole train carriage could hear. How gratifying that was.

I suspect that if her father was sitting with her, instead of me, the old git would not have uttered a word. Sadly, patriarchy is still in the air. No government is going to eradicate that.

pinkbraces · 07/05/2010 10:30

Erm, perhaps she should have had her feet on the floor and not on the seat!

Hodie · 07/05/2010 10:50

Good grief pinkbraces, everybody puts their sodding feet on seats.

toccatanfudge · 07/05/2010 10:56
Hodie · 07/05/2010 11:10

It would appear that the pair of you are not particularly au fait with public transport, and the dirty habits of passengers, including my daughter....

toccatanfudge · 07/05/2010 11:12

well given that I don't drive I think you'll find I'm very au fair with public transport.

Use trains very regularly with my 3 DS's - none of whom are allowed to put their feet on the seats.

(DS3 is allowed but I take his shoes off before he does)

Hodie · 07/05/2010 11:31

Cripes, I have inadvertently provoked some dismal 'correct parenting' discussion. Time for a shufti in the politics section.

Niceguy2 · 07/05/2010 13:15

Hodie, I fail to see how your example with the old git is related to being a single parent? Or was that your point?

Even if you were in a traditional family unit, there will be times where you are not with your OH and opportunities like this will happen.

I think ppl are too sensitive about how others perceive them. None of us have "SINGLE PARENT SCROUNGER" tattoo'ed on our foreheads.

I've been a single parent for years and I do the best I can. If ppl want to see me in a negative light then that's there problem, not mine. People will always stereotype. Just like blacks will complain the media portrays them as drug dealers or the polish as job stealers.

Best thing to do is just carry on doing what you think is right and stuff what others think.

Hodie · 07/05/2010 20:09

Niceguy2, the old git and men in general, are just a sore point with me at the moment. It will pass.

I do not give a hoot about my single mother status. However, I must admit that I am feeling a little bit edgy with this second pregnancy. It just feels, may I say, a little bit 'Jeremy Kyle'. Ho hum, viva negative stereotypes!

expatinscotland · 07/05/2010 20:11

I am very worried for the working poor of any marital status.

I'd like to get rid of the stereotype that all poor people are dole scroungers or that if you work you are living a comfortable lifestyle.

ninah · 08/05/2010 09:40

hear hear expat
and hodie relax you have a looong way to go before you'll interest Jeremy

BertieBotts · 08/05/2010 09:47

I have inadvertantly been saving, it seems - had not noticed that I hadn't had any tax credit payments since February. I thought things were a bit tight Luckily I have quite low living costs as don't have a mortgage, car or debts and in this area HB covers all my rent. And at least I have some savings now if they do cut things.

I will just wait and see what happens. Hopefully I will be able to go to college in September, but we will see.

ninah · 08/05/2010 09:52

Even if I become loaded (yeah right) I'd still vote for a government who supports low income families
I wouldn't want to forget what it can be like

Hodie · 08/05/2010 10:15

Thanks ninah. Saved from the clutches of Jeremy!

mumtotwoboys · 08/05/2010 17:49

Conservatives make me sick.
I've had it suggested that I got pregnant to claim more benefits.
Are they damaged mentally? They REALLY think millions of women are having children 'espoecially to steal their tax monies'
And do they really think that a happy 2 parent family would choose to break up just to claim a few more quid in benefits, that's what they seem to be suggesting.
Do they have completely no understanding of the fact that not everyone's lives revolves around money and getting a few quid more?
Judge by your own standards.
They like to think that women are carelessly getting pregnant and homewrecking for money, what does that say about them.
They're the accusers. THEY're Obsessed with bloody money.

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