AIBU to be mildly miffed by this?

[Supercherry]

After having had a little peruse on a certain, well known, dating website... the couple of profiles I took a peep at, thinking they were quite attractive (not just looks) had both specified they were looking for women without children. Basically, if you have kids you're a no-no.

Does having children really make one that unattractive?

I know I'm being silly, because, really, if they're that type of person then I wouldn't be interested in them anyway.

So, why am I a little miffed?

Because you know your kids are adorable !

Yes, they are! Thanks Jasper

Having children is a commitment. If those men don't want a relationship with someone with committments then you have to wonder what they are actually looking for.

And if they are so narrowminded as to think anyone with a child isn't a possibility for them then they will probably stay single a long time.

Steer well clear of those types, they're not in it for the relationship.

Funniest one I ever saw was a guy who ticked that he had children but that he didn't want children. Like that's going to make you attractive at all!

It is annoying, isn't it?

I've noticed on here that there are some women who say that they'd never have a relationship with a man who already has children as then they (the women) wouldn't be the man's top priority

As a male single parent I find that quite dismaying too.

Sorry to butt in I was single for a very,very,very long time. Because my brothers, sister and even my Mum called me 'Cruella de Vil' (had had to look after my brothers & sister from the age 12 while parents went to work at the weekend. Not very good at it either) I imagined I would make a awful Step-Mum and I can't stand that fake friendly-ness towards children. I avoided men with children. Not sure I could really love some elses kids. Sorry but others might feel the same Male or female.
As a postscript whole family are now shocked at how good a mum I am AND that my son loves me DH was married before no kids. Sorry

That's interesting Nuttybear. Though, I doubt that is the reason why majority of these men are mum avoiders.

You're spot on Gillybean- so I have no idea why it slightly (only slightly mind) bothers me.

My lovely (sarcasm emoticon) ex and father of my boys said that no-one would want a woman wth 2 children and that I was 'damaged goods'. I told him he was talking rubbish, but I bet there is an element of truth in it for some men.

Hope most men don't think like this.

Snorbs, thanks, it's nice to have a man's perspective.

I noticed quite a few profiles which have said it is OK to have children but only if they don't live with you!

Gillybean "Funniest one I ever saw was a guy who ticked that he had children but that he didn't want children. Like that's going to make you attractive at all!" - surely having children but not wanting more is perfectly normal? That's the position I'm in with two kids, I wouldn't want more if I met someone new. Or have I misunderstood?

I've had this too. "Damaged goods" is one theory (bloody good riddance to men who think like this) and another factor is that men on dating sites are often financially motivated. I've been asked a lot of intrusive questions- on the first date, or even before it- about where I get my money from(income support, since you ask), and whether I own my house (nope).One guy I was seeing came round one day with a tape measure to measure my garden for a studio he wanted to build there- we'd never even properly talked about moving in. Of course, he was dating behind my back the whole time and eventually moved in with a rich widow in Muswell Hill. And built a music studio in her garden.

If its any consolation it cuts both ways and in my experience women are a lot more selective. Back when I was dating a lot of women were not interested in me because I had my kids full time. Especially those without kids.

I remember a single mum telling me she'd never date a single dad because she wants her man to be devoted to her and her kids. Selfish, perhaps. But at least she was honest.

I think its because when you dont have kids, you live in a world where its possible to decide suddenly to go to the pub for last orders or be spontaneous and jet off to Paris for the weekend rather than sit in with a DVD.

And when we are online dating, we tick boxes to find the right person rather than in the real world where we get to know someone then make allowances.

I'd rather know up front how someone feels than they be politically correct just to avoid hurting feelings later down the road.

That said, I did manage to date a few women without kids. One was even crazy enough to fall in love with me. It was just a shame I didn't feel the same way.