new lone parent...

8 replies

fiona25 · 27/04/2010 11:20

recently broke up with the father of my 11 month old son (the final straw was a MAJOR row...basically, he was made redundant in jan and since then all he does is play on his xbox......on the "final day" i went to tesco on the bus with my son, got nappies, milk, etc etc, then took him to the docs about his exema....all the time he remained undressed playing xbox....he then moaned about me being tired so then i complained that he does nothing- i also do ALL the cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing..so this really got to me but he just didnt understand where i was coming from....)

how quickly should you contact the gov about change of circumstances, benefits etc etc? what if you make up?

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 27/04/2010 14:08

Steal the xbox and sell it. That's my advice.

grapesandmoregrapes · 27/04/2010 19:34

how recently did you break up? if your not sure that your break-up is long term then its probably best to wait a couple of weeks. also, if you are still living together then you will be treated as a couple, so one of you would have to move out first. and yes, steal the xbox and sell it

HanBanan · 28/04/2010 09:19

He sounds depressed and needs to get out and work hard on getting a job. Tell him to have a chat with the Job Centre to help him out.

Meanwhile you can go to the Citizens Advice Bureau in your area (look it up on the internet) - they are great to give you all the general advice you need and phne no.s etc for anonymous helplines for you to ring re. benefits etc etc.

And sell the xbox.

Knickers0nMyHead · 30/04/2010 22:28

Sell the Xbox.

mumbar · 01/05/2010 16:13

how long ago is recent? If it's a final break up he's moved out etc then contact job centre plus straightaway for advice with benefits as it will take a while for them to start.

As a lone parent who split with his father when he was 13mths I sympathise with you. I was doing the same altho x-p worked and his adultary was the final straw!!!

Is there a surestart centre near you you can visit as they will help with benefits advice, have a group where you can meet other parents and also classes on things such as budgeting etc if you are struggling. They often have a free creche as well.

Best of luck and come back if yu need more advice.

Oh and I agree sell the x box!!!

lindsaygii · 01/05/2010 17:28

I'd keep the xbox and sell the bloke. But since that probably isn't legal, yeah, sell the xbox.

Regarding contacting the authorities - I'd get onto it first thing on Tuesday to be honest. Claims start from the day you make them - and that includes claims to the CSA - not the day you become entitled.

You can always cancel if you get back together. But you can't backdate if you don't.

And I'm sorry you're having such a tough time.

maristella · 02/05/2010 18:35

contact the benefits office straight away, they will take their time sorting out your claim, so the sooner you do it the better.
tell them you split up a short while ago and would like the claim backdated. you may had to give good reason for them to backdate; ie you were in shock, you hoped this would be resolved etc.
what i can say from my experience is that life will get easier. it gets easier because you won't have to effectively parent your partner any more.
best of luck

maristella · 02/05/2010 18:39

and if he has left his xbox behind, flog it and consider it his contribution for the last few months

Flip