Should I stay in the house or go?

[npg1]

Me and x split up in feb. He works away in the week and is now coming back to visit the kids every other weekend. He comes back to the house and stays in the spare room but it's awkward.

My name is on the mortgage too which is why I havent moved out and also wanted to be sure of my decision.

He came back this weekend and said he thinks we should try again. I really dont think I can and think I need to take the next step.

I dont think he will sell the house and we live right next door to his parents!

Should I move out and find rented accomodation? Will I be able to get housing benefit as at the moment I dont work but am planning to do something. How much will I get?

Thanks.

You have basically a choice - was in the situation a few yrs back.

You can carry on living with him on the mortgage (think he could force you to sell though in the future and you will never have sep finances, you will be linked so if he has bad credit then it will affect you) or you can buy him out or he can buy you out.

If you decided to buy him out you should find a solicitor, get 3 valuations on the house, add the together then divide by three and then i think you split half the equity from when you paid for the house.

Thats about it. You need to decide what you want.

I think if you are made homeless ie he chucks you out you can get hb but if you sell you wont as you have made yourself homeless and if you have more than i think 20k in savings you wont get certain benefits until you have spent it.

Hi npg1

Sorry you are going through this.
My advice is based on my own experience and I think you should hold fire - I moved out and into rented house 2 years ago and my ex has refused to sell the house or buy me out so I am stuck and it is so wrong that he lived in our lively house and the dcs and myself are squashed into a small place.

Could he stay with his parents when he comes back to see dc or could you visit friends/family to make it less stressfull in the short term until more id sorted out.

You would get housing benefit if you are not working but others will be better at advising how much etc

forgot to say you should call gingerbread they were my saving grace when i split up and gave particular advice for single parents. I found cab to be rather shocking and un helpful.

You need to sort out your finance properly.

If you dont know how you can ask particular questions.

One first thing is to contact tax credits and child benefit and get them to pay it into your bank not a joint one.

Thanks for that. I have contacted tax credits, they are taking forever to get it set up for me. I get child benefit into my account.

I think to be honest I move out and he buys me out, I cant see him selling the house and I cant buy him out as have no money. We havent spoken about him staying with his mum while visiting and I just feel wrong asking him to do that.

God, im so confused!