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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Should I contact him, yes or no?

12 replies

MostActive · 17/04/2010 09:52

x has managed to halve his maintenance payments,I will probably have to move now. Am bloody furious/upset. Feel like contacting him and saying thanks for nothing tosspot, so, yes or no?

OP posts:

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 17/04/2010 09:54

halved payments through the csa? Appeal?

You could say that to him and I am sure it would be satisfying, but if he's the sort of man who is happy to weasel out of paying for the life he 50% created, then is he going to care what you say? Or is he going to turn it around and use it as a way to be more difficult?

Original poster

MostActive · 17/04/2010 09:57

yes, through CSA. No, he probably won't give a shit what I have to say but this has really done me in.

OP posts:

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 17/04/2010 10:02

I can understand it. Is his change in circumstances genuine or do you think he is fiddling it? If you think he's lying, can you prove it?

I do understand how you feel. I'd want to say to him that it's ok, you'll just feed your son half what he's been getting, keep half a roof over his head and buy him one shoe and let him hop to school.

Original poster

MostActive · 17/04/2010 10:07

Just spoken to CSA, they based it on his wage slips from Feb/March so appears to be genuine, however he has managed to fiddle us out of money before, I trust him as far as I can throw him.

OP posts:

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 17/04/2010 10:13

Thing is, if he's giving you less because he's got less, then that's just one of those things and not his fault.

But if you think he's got his boss to fiddle his wage slips then you need to ask for further investigation.

Original poster

MostActive · 17/04/2010 10:21

CSA said they can only go by the information they have been given. If he is earning less then his lifestyle isn't reflecting it that's for sure.

Had a tough week moneywise so I'm just and and want to let him know that we are pretty f*d now.....me, bitter and twisted? nah

OP posts:

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 17/04/2010 10:31

Horrible, isn't it? I don't know how people can walk away and think well, I'll give as little as I can, because it's not my problem any more. Surely if you love your child, the fact you are no longer living with the other parent of your child doesn't mean you want to stop providing for your child?

Original poster

MostActive · 17/04/2010 10:39

I agree,it's terrible,some people have no conscience . Thanks for listening.

OP posts:

Original poster

MostActive · 17/04/2010 10:42

oh and I have just found out he is away on business and which hotel he is staying in....out of order to cancel his reservation???

OP posts:

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 17/04/2010 10:58

I couldn't possibly condone such an action...

mamas12 · 17/04/2010 11:03

or you could just 'halve' it.
e.g. cancel one night if he is staying the two.
Seriously, phone his family and ask them if they are aware of this. Great believer in shaming, me

ChocHobNob · 17/04/2010 22:10

But if he has genuinely had a cut in pay, then what he is doing isn't "wrong". I understand it must be very frustrating and leave you short, but if he doesn't have the money to pay, he can't pay it. If you were still together and he suddenly had a pay decrease, you would have to accommodate it. Sorry, just thought the suggestion to shame him to his family was a bit much when you don't know for sure whether he is doing it out of spite or it's genuinely a pay cut.

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