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ex's new partner

2 replies

june60sbaby · 12/04/2010 22:47

Ex and I have been seperated for over three years after the partner of the person he was having an affair with found out and he had to come clean , (he'd always denied his affairs)I have tried really hard to maintain an amicable relationship with him for the sake of our daughter, (almost 11 now). This can be difficult as he can be very manipulative, most recently using the fact that we are amicable to wind up current partner as he didn't want to be with her any more, (so it's my fault they split, just like everything else thats not right in his life).
He now has a new partner of 10 days. He has introduced this woman to our daughter who bought her new dress, bag, purse and is now texting my daughter. My ex didn't discuss this with me and left my daughter to tell me what was happening. He can't understand why I'm annoyed and dont want to speak to him saying that I am being uncommunicative and difficult! I cant bear to look at him let alone make him the cup of tea he's asking for as he slumps down on my sofa and puts his feet up on my coffee table. I have shown an interest in what my daughter has to say bout her and been really pleasant about it but I cant extend this to him. All the while feel as though this is what he wants so now cross with myself for letting him wind me up. Would be day to soon if I ever saw him again but daughter used to him coming in for cup of tea and playing on wii with her so worried bout what she will think. Any ideas?

OP posts:
Niceguy2 · 12/04/2010 23:00

It depends on whats more important to you.

How important is it that you maintain the facade of being civil to each other in front of your daughter?

If its more important than the risk of upsetting her then you'll have to bite your tongue. Personally I'd just tell him he's not to come in anymore and just tell DD that you are sick of him treating the place like its his home.

As for the other woman thing, at 11, DD is old enough to think for herself and realise what's what.

june60sbaby · 12/04/2010 23:09

Thanks just needed someone to confirm what I already know I need to do. Feel sick as know it will upset her and know he'll make a big deal, doing the innocent 'poor me' routine. He has great relationship with D (which I encouraged as I want her to be sane stable adult)just worried how she'll see me for doing it. I know 11 year olds can be perceptive but they do still tend to see things in black and white.

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