Anyone else on here a widow or widower?

[Pixie41]

Hi,
Been on my own just over a year and finding the "second" year a real struggle. Trying to carve out a "new life" for myself however that is sometimes very hard. Just wondering if there is anyone else out there in a similar situation.

Pix

Hello, been a widow for 6 years. It gets easier....

Hi,

I have been a widow for two and a half years - I found the second year harder than the first, as support drops away a bi and it hit home more than in the first year for me.

However, you get stronger all the time and you do begin to have a new life. As Peaceflower says, it does get better. But it is bloody hard and you need to pat yourself on the back for coping with it. Regularly.

I don't expect this is coming out very well but I did find the only way was up as the secong year progressed.

Hi, I am technically a widow although h and I were separated before he died and that was only November.

I am a widower. It has been 5 years since I lost my wife to cancer and although it gets better (v slowly) some times I still feel rotten.

My 2 DD's (non-identical twins (16)) have given me the best possible reason to carry on regardless.

Bump - another useful thread that seems to have stalled.

Whereabouts in the country are you Pixie? Do you have support from friends/family and do you have dcs?

me too - just over 3 years. would agree that year 2 is hard in a different way to year 1 - less raw, but still lost and trying to rebuild things without really knowing who you are any more. hard just being a parent on your own too. you do have to give yourself praise and appreciation!

Me too. I'm just over 2.5 years along this road. I've a 12yo DS and a 2.5yo DD.

I found the second year as hard as the first in that the rawness and shock had worn off a bit, but then there was a big space left and I had to joggle myself and my little family unit to feel more comfortable with what we had left (if that makes sense).

I did a lot of thinking too. Not sure where that's got me!

You might find that the merrywidow.me.uk website useful. It's run by a lady called Katy Boydell and widows and widowers from all walks of life post on there....

Hello again,

MFF - I'm in South East England, my DS is coming up 3 this summer.

I have a sister nearby who has been a rock to me not just since DH died but for pretty much the last 15 years! However she has a pretty stressful job, a husband and 3 kids of her own (although they are all at secondary school now.)

I'm very aware about being a drain on people and also about "gatecrashing" other families "family" time

I've decided recently that I just need to get on with my life and not wait for others to help.... I have a very lovely group of friends that I met through another forum who have been amazing and I am making every effort to nurture those relationships.

I also have a new friend whom I met a a memorial service, she had lost her husband in very similar circumstances 3 weeks earlier. We are hopefully going to become very firm friends.

Sorry to prattle on .....

Pix

Hi,

Hope you don't mind me posting on this thread as I'm not a widow.

A close friend of mine is, though, and has been put off lots of parenting forums as they don't have a 'widowed' section, and she feels alienated in the divorced/separated threads.

Do any of you think it would be worth asking MNHQ if they could start a Widowed section in Lone Parents?

Just thinking of ways to help my friend atm.

Sorry again to crash.

Booboo - does your friend know about the Merry Widows site that Lemony mentioned? I think that might be a better place to go for advice/support specific to being a younger widowed parent than trying to start up a new topic here.

I'm widowed (coming up for four years), and spent a lot of time on MW in the first year or so. The bereavement section here is also a good place for support, but I can't see that there would be enough users or special issues to make a 'widowed lone parents' section worthwhile. A lot of the issues we deal with are things that face other people for different reasons - or that other people who are not widowed can help with, such as all the support Trinity has had from people on here.

Thanks for the feedback, exexpat.

My friend has been using the Merry Widows site, and has found it helpful.

I Just feel so helpless sometimes - I want to make it all better for her.

Can't do that, though.

Sorry for you loss, and thanks again.

Hi, just coming up to 20 months for me, my DS is almost 3. The second year is very hard, different to the first. Trying to get all the help I can, also have had breast cancer this year to cope with.