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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Will I be excluded from this job as I'm a lone parent?

21 replies

mummytowillow · 11/04/2010 20:11

I'm desperate to find a new job, I have to travel over and hour each way and its a 65 mile round trip, costing me a fortune in petrol so I need to get something else?

I have found a really good job that I'm very interested in, its working with women suffering from domestic violence as a support worker. Its well paid for the 25 hours and only 11 miles from my home, I would also get car user allowance, I want the job!!

However, you have to do a 24 hour unpaid call out on a rota basis, which is impossible for me to do as a single mum. It states you have to be a 30 minute drive from work (I am) so to me they would expect you to be there within an hour, what would I do with my daughter if I'm called out a 2am?? My parents are the only one's who could have her and they are not in good health and in their late sixties.

So my question is am I excluded from this job? Should I apply anyway? And is it not discrimination if they say I can't do because of the childcare issues?

OP posts:

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MadameCastafiore · 11/04/2010 20:14

Oh FFS there are a thousand jobs I can't do because I have kids - it is something you have to swallow as a parent - what do you think should happen they should supply your childcare or the victims of violence should not expect the service to be on call 24 hrs but only have issues when it is conveinient for you?

MadamDeathstare · 11/04/2010 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girliefriend · 11/04/2010 20:17

I am not sure, but find this an interesting thread! I'm in similiar position as I work 3 days a week 9-5 but the PCT i work for have now decided that we have to cover a later shift which means occasionally having to work 2pm-10pm which if they enforce would mean I'd have to give up the job I love. I just haven't got the childcare. I think it maybe worth applying and discussing at interview as I think it will be to do with if its in the contract and how much they like you!!! It is discrimination IMO.

dct · 11/04/2010 20:17

how likely are you to be called out? How often would you have to do it?

you could ring local childminders that are registered for overnight and see if they would take her if you paid a retainer for the time you were on call.

LadyBiscuit · 11/04/2010 20:18

Well if you can't find childcare, then yes. But perhaps you could get someone to stay over on the days you are on 24 call out? I would find out how often it would be required.

But there are lots of jobs I can't do because I'm a single parent - anything with lots of travel or late night entertaining is out.

It's not discrimination, it's your personal life getting in the way

Original poster

mummytowillow · 11/04/2010 20:18

Bloody hell Madamcastafiore, I was only asking for advice not a bollocking, there is absolutely no need for the FFS, how unpleasant, at least I now know not to bother posting again

OP posts:

wonderingwondering · 11/04/2010 20:18

If it is a legitimate requirement of the job (as it appears to be) it is not discriminatory to refuse it to you if you say you can't work at night.

It would be wrong of them to refuse you the job on the basis that they assume you wouldn't have childcare, as some single parents would be able to get overnight cover. But if it is a genuine requirement of the job, and you can't meet it, they can refuse to employ you.

Original poster

mummytowillow · 11/04/2010 20:20

Thanks to the other ladies for your helpful replies, I might give them a ring tomorrow, got nothing to lose?

OP posts:

girliefriend · 11/04/2010 20:41

mummytowillow am with you, there was no need for madamcastafiore reply, really unnecessary! It was replys like that that made me stop posting, grr, but good luck to you in your job hunting xXx

Katymac · 11/04/2010 20:43

If it's occasional could you get a student to sleep in - once a week or a fortnight (whether or not you actually need her) - mention possible solutions to the employer

ancientbutstillgorgeous · 11/04/2010 20:45

Well obviously you're not in a position to apply for the job because of the hours. Simple. How odd that you even thought it might be discrimination - why does everyone these days think they have a right to anything and everything?

Get a job like I did, 20 hours a week, earliest start 9am and latest finish 3.30pm.
I have a child and I put her before anything else.

Original poster

mummytowillow · 11/04/2010 22:42

Ancient I don't think I am entitled to 'anything and everything' as you can see I already have a job but its difficult with the travel etc, if I can find a job for 20 hours as you so kindly put it I will take it if offered. And my daughter does come first in everything I do if your interested?

This job was something I am interested in and wanted some simple advice before I considered applying.

I really don't know what gets into some people when they are so unpleasant to other people in the same situation as them, being a lone parent is hard enough without people making it worse with unplesant comments.

I shall think carefully when I next post for advice.

OP posts:

elastamum · 11/04/2010 22:53

hi mum to Willow, I think some of the posters are being a bit unkind to you here. If you want the job then you just have to be able to meet the requirments of it to be considered. They cant ask about your home circumstances anyway in an interview, they can only ask if you can meet the requirments. I am also a LP and when I was interviewing for jobs I definately found employers were turned off by this if they knew my circumstances. So I kept my wedding ring on - wasnt quite divorced at that point - until I got offered a job and kept very quiet about my home life! but I did have to get live in help so i could meet the travel requirments of my job. Good luck!

MadamDeathstare · 12/04/2010 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gillybean2 · 12/04/2010 16:10

They can't ask you about your childcare arrangements but you can volunteer the information if you think it may increase your chances of being offered the position (ie they don't need to worry as you have childcare ararngements in place...)

If you really want the job then call up and find out what you can about the requirements (eg how much notice you get of the weekends involved, is there a fixed rota (ie every 4 weeks, or is the rota issues 6 weeks in advance of the first weekend etc). Also ask what happens if the rota'd person is off sick or on holiday etc as you may be asked to cover at short notice. Then see if you can put plans in place to accomodate whatever situation is specified.

There are child minders out there who do accomodate over night, there are also nannies and babysitting services available to you which would be relatively simple if you knew it was every forth weekend for example. On the other hand you may find that you simply can't do it in reality and you would be wasting yours and their time and also giving up a perfectly good job for a job you won't be able to keep.

If it's what you really want to do then go for it. Do your research and find your child care options.

Good luck!

ninah · 12/04/2010 16:26

I think you'll find all of us in this situation put dc first, there's no alternative really! and we tend to come here for advice and support, enough snipers in rl
whether you put dc first by working shorter hours, or by taking on a demanding job with childcare to achieve a better standard of living, well that sounds like a variation of the old sahm/wohm argument which is never all that helpful
op is trying to make an informed choice here, that's all - certainly not saying she is entitled to anything!
good luck with whatever you decide willow

notevenamousie · 12/04/2010 17:50

You need to find a way to meet the requirements - it doesn't matter how. As above had said, you won't be discriminated for being an LP but you will be expected to provide what the service requires. Look around, there are ways and means, don't write yourself off.

rainbowinthesky · 12/04/2010 17:57

Is it compulsory to put our children first for everything? Really? Missed that one.

I often dont finish work till 6.30 pm.

Ah, well.

I would ask them for more details and be honest with them. There may be some flexibility if they really want you.

WHy cant your parents have her? My mum is late 70s and capable of babysitting on her own.

pinkmagic1 · 12/04/2010 18:01

Agree, you won't be discriminated against for being a lone parent. I am married but would also find this job difficult as my DH works evenings/nights.
Like someone else suggested some childminders do take children overnight and if the call out was, say only 1 night a month, I'm sure you could sort something. I would call up and find out more. Good luck

MadameCastafiore · 12/04/2010 19:01

The FFS was because of the way you worded your question - of course it is not discrimination to not employ you in a position which you cannot do because of your personal life!

ninah · 13/04/2010 21:15

news today, single mum soldier won £100,000 in sex discrimination claim based on the fact she couldn't be available for duty round the clock because of childcare
not saying I agree, but it does show that legally, if not morally, the issue is not as clear cut as 'of course not'

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