days like these make me wonder if I'm doing the right thing

[GoingPostal]

need partly to vent about my crappy day and partly to get advice on whether I'm doing the right thing ...

am lone SAHM (do a bit of freelancing), ds is just 3yo. no ex on the scene, GPs help but don't live locally, so I do all the day to day stuff on my own.

ok so today has been one of "those" days - car into garage, was there ALL day, cost a fortune, had to drag ds there morning and evening, hang round for ages etc. Then cut my finger with kitchen knife, had to drag ds down to late walk-in clinic to get it seen to as it wouldn't stop bleeding and I couldn't get it bandaged up one-handed. ds needed 2 new pairs of shoes ... all in all a day completely eaten up by chores and unexpected outlay of £££. Have done nothing productive all week, house is a tip, managed no work.... rant over.

now, advice needed please! - I am due to start a course in Sept which I hope will lead to a new career. I am totally new to the subject, it's going to be hard work. ds will be in nursery for the day I go to lectures, and a day for me to do homework/ research. But seriously, I am going to be able to manage a demanding course as well as just keeping on top of housework, looking after ds, doing stuff? Nursery costs a fortune so would have to think long and hard about putting him in for an extra day. I am giving up freelance work and living off savings so going to have to be tightening our belts anyway. Just feel like when a load of cash flies out of the window that I would be crazy to be spending more on what is a career gamble.

all a bit mixed up . just any words of comfort, experience, understanding would be very much appreciated please ...

Go for it, GoingPostal.

Let's face it, any career move is a gamble these days, in fact even staying in the same job is a gamble, in case it goes 'pouf.'

Some days will be shit, and you are bound to have a wobble when you think 'wtf am I doing?' You will manage to do sufficient stuff, I am sure. As long as you both get fed and have a bath once a week onna Sunday, all will be fine

Btw don't think career gamble, think career investment. That's what I tell myself when I have to fork out for college fees and books, I usually make a face like this

thanks Nemofish, good way of looking at it - an investment. Excellent!

yes your be able to manage but it will be hard. i'm a lp to ds's 2yr & 3yr & i'm doing a full-time course which has a lot of work! i'm just about managing, nice to have the halfterm to catch up though. if your going to college/uni talk to them about nursery funds as some offer to pay towards.

hello def go for it, it will increase your confidence and as you will be in a routine and out of the house more, housework will be more managable. I'm a lone parent who works 3 days a wk and have a 4 yr old dd and it somehow works. I def think working helps me stay sane!!! Good luck xXx

I'm an lp too, working full time (usually), running a part-time business and studying from home.
Routine and organisation is key - I don't leave all the housework for one day a week but try to do a room or a chore every day.

DS is 10 now so a lot easier to manage but I did my degree when he was fairly small which was hard work. Keeping the 'goal' in sight kept me going. There are days when it feels like I have bitten off too much but they pass.

'Investment' is right. It really is.

just seen last few replies and want to say thank you for the vote of confidence. girliefriend what you say about routine really chimes - definitely think having some fixed hours and tasks will help a lot towards managing stuff and building confidence.

thanks everyone for helping me out of a mini-rut, was having a serious wobble there.

We all have days that are tough and make us wonder why we do it and how we can cope on our own. But you can and you will manage. Concentrate on being the best mum you can be, and if today didn't turn out as well as you hoped for there's always tomorrow instead.
And yes, I hate having to drag my son out everywhere too. So get round this whenever you can. I now get a bulk grocery shop delivered once a month, no more dragging him round the shop after me and actually the delivery cost can be cheaper than my petrol (and certainly my time).

Also ask the garage if they have a pick up service. My local garage will come and pick up the car and/or drop it back if they have someone available.

Don't worry about the housework too much. I gave up worrying about mine long ago. My attitude to housework now is 'that'll do for now'. After all, there will be plenty of time for a pristine house when the children are grown, but precious moments and time is gone forever!

Yes you should definitely do the course. Do not be afraid to ask your parents to have your ds for you sometimes if you need to study or just for a break. See if they will regularly take him out or have him overnight even. And definitely ask the nursery if they have any options for an occassionally day if you ever need it. Most will take for an extra session occassionally if they have a space.

Don't be afraid to use an extra session to get your chores done if they get out of control or you simply need a couple of hours to yourself. I used to put my son in the creche at the supermarket (when they still had one) and sit in the coffee shop for an hour's break on occassion. I really needed the break sometimes as I too parent completely alone with very little family support even.

Try asking at your local sure start centre if there is any financial help or other support you can get. Don't rely completely on savings, you may be able to get some kind of help. Also ask at college. They may even have a creche you can take advantage of.

Good luck