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I really need advice........

3 replies

marsden14 · 04/04/2010 01:47

OK so in brief, because it is 1.40am, I have the winter vomiting virus and my dd will be up in 6 hours time.
Me and her father split up 2 years ago and divorced. He is living with another woman now and has been for nearly a year. She has a son and they live about 30 mins drive away.
When we split up we had a mutual agreement on money he should give me for our daughter. TThis was kept up for a while, then slowly ddwindled, got less and less and to date, he powes me £300. On friday he said it would be in my account so when I looked and it wasnt, II went to the bus stop where I knew he would be with her, and took her back. When asked where his money was he said he is letting csa deal with it, as Ive been nagging too much, and didnt agree to our dd fgoing on holiday with them. He wants to take her to Dominican Republic, which as you all know was very closely hit by an earthquake recently. He has text me tonight saying he has seen a solicitor and he will take our dd away as he has a right. But can he is she doesnt want to go? She says to me she doesnt enjoy going over to her dads as doesnt get on with girlfriends son. Im just not sure where this is going to end, other than me being a nervous wreck. He doesnt have a job at the moment, and has in fact struggled to hold down a job since we left him. He doesnt drive as lost his license drink driving.
My stomach is churning so much, I have already been very ill over this.
Help.......

OP posts:
lucylue · 04/04/2010 09:16

i think he doesnt want to give the money and trying to get the attention to other stuff.
see a solicitor, dont worry much, get well soon.

GypsyMoth · 04/04/2010 09:34

how old is dd?

keep the two separate,maintenence and contact are not connected,so you were wrong to take her back because no money!he is right....csa will ensure a token amount is deducted from his benefits,it is usually £5 weekly.....i get this for 4 dc,£5 between them!

and yes,he would be able to take dd away on holiday.

avoid court,because your ex will get what he wants here,its hard for you,but earthquakes which happened 6 or 12 months ago,will not concern the judge......but this all really depends on your dd's age

oldraver · 04/04/2010 17:40

Have either of you contacted CSA to sort out the money issue ? If not I would get into contact ASAP

As for fetching her back, I think that was out of order and very unfair

When is the holiday ? does your daughter actually not want to go or is it your decision for her not to go ? I remember you posting about this before but cant recall how old your daughter is.

In theory you would have to give permission for her to leave the country though I'm not sure how well this is enforced. It depends really on what the reason is. If he went to court it may be possible he could force the issue unless you had a very good reason for her not to go

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