Who pays for the date?

[TheMumtalist]

I have just started dating again and I am meeting people on internet dating sites for the first time.

Maybe I am being a princess and times have changed, but I'm really shocked that the bill is being split 50/50.

Is this the done thing with internet dating?

I have never ever had to put my hand in my pocket on a first date - of course I always offer as its polite but the gentlemen always insist on paying. I

In my past experience its not until around the 3rd date that I start making token contributions such as buying the first round of after dinner drinks or I might pay for the cheaper things such as getting the coffees on a daytime date. This is not because I don't offer but the gentlemen I have dated previously have been the sort who want to wine and dine a lady and when they invite a lady out for the evening they want to pay for the meals etc.

What are your thoughts and experiences?

I would pay 50/50 on the first date or I might feel obliged to do something I wouldnt want to do!

To assume that the man will pay is an out of date attitude imho

It depends, I guess that you are at least expected to offer to pay your share of the bill. Having said that, I would feel a bit put off if they accepted in the first date, particularly if the guy seems to be "loaded".

I have female friends who wouldn't dream of offering to pay 50/50, but they are mostly, moving in a circle where people has a lot of money, they are used to the man playing the role of the "provider" so they would find it "cheap" for a guy to ask to split the bill. For the rest of us mortals, I think we are happy to share the bill.

Having said that, a friend of mine brought an interesting point to the debate the other day. She said "If I, as a woman, am paid 20% less than a man would get for doing exactly the same job I do, why am I supposed to do everything 50/50, let them pay, they earn way more than us!". Someway I thought she might have a point...

I always offer as I think it's polite to do so and shows that you aren't taking the gentleman's generosity for granted.

Maybe I am a bit old fashioned, but I think that if a man invites you out to dinner then he should pay. Especially on a first date.

It has put me off my dates when I have paid half as I do think it's cheap, it doesn't make me feel special and I think it makes the gentleman look inconsiderate.

You make a good point Mongolia, maybe I used to subconciously only accept dates from men who have already shown a certain level of generosity prior to my accepting a date from them. Whereas when you start internet dating you are meeting a complete stranger who is probably having lots of dates with different women and can't afford to pay for all them.

ive been lucky my first dates (from dating sites) always offer to pay for me and some even pay for my cab fare to and from home they have been genuine blokes, im still single because they were too nice and still have feelings for their exs , just my luck .I agree with you Themumtalist its off putting when you the lady has to pay half