Advice for single parents of special needs

[Swolo]

I work for a small non-profit organisation launching a website this summer for parents of special needs children. It will be a forum for parents to swap handy, practical tips on day to day issues like dressing, routines, feeding etc. We particularly need tips from single parents of special needs children. Have you got any tips you'd like to share with others? If so, please let me know and I'll put it on the site. Please note, none of the information will be used for commercial profit. The site will be free to use and available to everyone. Thanks!

i would need to see the site first....

quite frankly though i dont see many/any sepcific single parent tips - dressing, routines, feeding are the same if you are one parent or two living together....

The site will be up and running in the Summer. I'm currently loading content and we've got lots of practical tips in all sorts of other areas, but we're a bit short in the family section ? in particular single parents.

I think it's more the fact that a lot of parents of special needs children end up going it alone, so the kind of tips we would be looking at are time-saving or life-style. I'm a single parent myself, so I know it's definitely not the same if you are one parent or two!

The kind of advice I would give, for example, is team up with another single parent family for a family discount at cinemas, days out etc. It always enfuriates me that I don't qualify for any sort of discount just because I'm not in a nuclear family!

but if you are a single parent parenting a child with sn, you normally get in places for free as a carer anyway!

I'm not convinced it is that different, and I have been a single parent for a while. Even now I am married, it's still me who deals with all the sn stuff!

Thank you, that's really good advice. That's exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for!

Good point too chopstheduck about the carer's allowance!

Has anyone else got any tips?

the best piece of advice i could offer anyone would be to accept any offers of help or assistance that is offered.
its very easy to become proud and independant and want to show the workd you can cope alone. of course you can, but you don't need to and you shouldn't. you will be much happier and find things easier to cope with if your given a break or some help. That in turn will make your relationship with your child easier.

you are doing a fabulous job, but even superheroes get a few hours off!

Thanks mamazon, that's brilliant. Really appreciate all your help here everyone. I am really keen to launch the site with a good single parents section! Please keep them coming....

also...though it will propbably piss the NT parents off....never ever go and pay full price for days out without first asking if their are concessions for the child and you as the carer.

also, for the big and expensive days out, check online for charities or grants that could be available to help with costs.
the merlin group has such a fund that will pay not only for entry costs but also travel fee's for a trip to any of its attractions (merlin magic wand) most of the big groups have similar.

always google for grants and funds before you pay for anything. sounds cheeky i know, but you probably have limited funds and the money you can save by being on a lower gas tarrif or whatever can help fund those little extra's that make life that tiny bit easier

exactly chops - i did it all before anyway - is easier on my own.... yes you may get more respite as s single parent .

the entry fees etc are applicable equally to single/non-single parents of children with SN.

the who takes care when you gone bit is important - but again is the same also for non-single parents....and is somehting ALL single parents ahve to think about.... that is why i am not so convinced you should categorise "single parents of SN children" as a special group within "SN".

or as a special group within "single parents".

it is great to have "lone parents board" here - clearly there are shared issues around lone parenting/access/contact/etc

but as a parent of Sn child i dont feel "extra special" because i am also lone parent, iyswim

SN issues - i would go SN board

lp issues - here

i am not convinced you need separate sections within each for LP/SN or SN/LP

i disagree.

being a lone parent is difficult. but you can go out and meet other lone parents. its far more difficult to do that when your child has SN.

equally in SN circles you can discuss holidays or days out etc, but they mention their Dp's helping out or assisting in some way. and you again feel you can't join in.

it is different. maybe more in the emotional aspects of being alone rather than the practicle day to day offerings.

I am sure that lone parents will find all the information on the rest of the site equally applicable to them. It's not a case of singling them out or wanting to make them feel different. It's more that there are some issues that are definitely specific to being a lone parent, and we want to include those in a special section. All the tips people are sending in are really useful, thanks. Please keep them coming....

yeh agreed mamazon - i guess that within the "marriage" i was effectively a lone parent of SN anyway as had no support from him - is difficult going out full stop. have to find ways round it....

but clearly there are other SN mariages where the support is there - so yes sometimes is different.

i think is about the whole defining thing - i dont want to see mny self as labelled with "negative" things -
"lone parent"
"parent of disabled child"

( add "crazy abusive ex.." )

just want to get on with life...