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single mum for 6 months, does it get easier?!

4 replies

onestepforward · 25/03/2010 21:31

Guess I just want to know I am not alone in feeling like this. 'Perfect' dh 'fell out of love' with me when DD was 6 weeks when we were apart for 3 weeks (we lived overseas and I visited home) and he was released from the druggery and sleeplessness of having a small baby and got to enjoy nights out with younger colleagues and their mostly younger female friends. Very unspecific about reasons for all of this but am guessing head was turned somewhere.

Anyway we moved back to the UK and split up after a year of moodiness and misery from my dh. Sometimes I feel like I have got a part of myself back and feel really positive then sometimes I feel sick to my stomach that I have lost what we once had and my future is not the rosy one I had imagined. I cannot imagine meeting someone else as it would feel all 'wrong' and that is depressing. Guess I am asking if this is normal!

Also can feel very alone when dd is at her dads for the weekend yet sometimes feel something like freedom to do things for myself so then feel guilty.

Posted this in relationships first so apologies if it seems familiar!

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CDMforever · 25/03/2010 21:45

Onestep, I became a single mum when my DS was 9 months old so I know where you're coming from. It does get easier and you will eventually want to meet someone else. It took me 2 years to start making the effort to meet a new man. I am now married with 2 more DC, my DS1 adores his step father and I couldn't be happier. Hang in there, things will get easier for you.

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WheresMyWaistGone · 25/03/2010 22:05

I'm somewhere between you two.

I ended up alone when ds was 2 months - that was 2 years ago.

Once I got over the initial trauma, I started job-hunting (having moved 200 miles back to my family), set up my own business and now rent a house, though we still see my family loads.

But it IS lonely. I would love to meet someone who will love us and look after us but just don;t know where to start and I'm soooo scared about making another horrific choice.

I guess things get easier one at a time and there;s no point pusing anything.

x

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onestepforward · 25/03/2010 22:13

Wow sounds like you are doing really well, setting up your own business and everything. It's so hard isn't it. You are right though, one thing at a time. I have a job and renting a flat and lots of lovely friends. I know there are much worse situations in life so should be grateful for what I have. Glad I am not alone and cmd thanks for giving me hope!

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suzymiller · 25/03/2010 22:42

I have been single for 7 years with three kids and the loneliness has been replaced with an ambitious new business, lovely friends, getting involved with their school, and dating a lovely man. It is tough being a sole parent - but it pushes you to create a life you might not otherwise have ventured into, and happiness comes from your own sense of fulfillment, not the 'security' of a man and his pay packet.