jealous child now I'm dating advice please?

[taken4granted]

Ihave recently met a lovely young man (he almost 10 yrs my junior) and we have had a few dates and he has met very briefly my daughter due to circumstances as in full full time single mum its hard to sort out sitters all the time. Anyway whilst my new man is nice to my dd and she him when she met him, she has told me she doesnt like me dating because she wants me all to herself ( shes 9) and we have been a unit for 2 yrs. Anyway my man doesnt have a problem with me having daughter but do youthink I shoud suggest a day out all of us together? so that she canget used to the idea of sharing me so to speak - it would also be good to see how he is with her as well i suppose - we have been seeing each other a month now and he seems very keen. I really enjoy his company as its nice being me and not just mum and sorry to say this the affection is lovely _ I forgot how nice that can be! Anyway dpes anyone have any pearls of wisdom for me? All advice appreciated Ta

I can imagine she's just really scared that you wont have time for her anymore, that your attention will be on your new man. It sounds trivial to us adults but to a child its very real and has to be acknowledged. Just remind her daily how much you love her and although you have a man on the scene she will always come first.

Maybe have a date night each week with your daughter, do things just the 2 of you.

I was 8 when my mum brought a new man into our home and she done none of the above, it really affected me, I just wanted to spend some time with my mum just me and her but HE was always there, I resented that, I felt like my mum had chosed him over me. So if you daughter voices her disapproval please listen and acknowledge how she feels, my mum always dismissed my feelings and that hurt deeply.

we have a girly night every weekend tbh dvd popcorn pizza etc and I tell her all the time how much I love her and that no matter what I will always always love her. I like the idea of calling it a date night instead though - great idea. Do you think the joint fun type date is a bad idea then? I just thought that if we went out and all did something fun together she might see him not so much as taking me away from her but sharing me isnt too bad after all?

If you think the joint day out will be fun for all then go for it. I did enjoy the days out when I was younger, it's just the day to day always being there iykwim.

As a single parent myself now I worry how my children will cope if and when a new fella comes on the scene, we just do our best and hope for the right outcome.

It's seems as though you are doing all you can to reassure your daughter so I hope she's just uncertain and will come round. Your new man seems keen to make an impression so that sounds good, I hope it all works out well for all 3 of you xx