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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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3 replies

paddysgirl · 19/03/2010 13:52

Hello, I'm new to this website and have just found my way onto this forum. I'm a single mum of one, my DD is 3. My ex-h was abusive and I left him when I was pregnant. He went from being abusive to suddenly wanting contact with DD so I'm in the process of a very long, drawn out battle in the courts. Currently he is going through CBT therapy and is going to be re-assessed on a yearly basis. What makes me really angry is that whils he can carry on living in his house and earning a fairly decent living, I've had to give up my job because even just working 16 hours a week took me over the threshold for Legal Aid and as it's a complicated and lengthy battle and I can't afford to pay a solicitor privately I've had no option. So I'm scraping by on benefits whilst he's off on his holidays! It's so unfair.
I also feel so lonely at times. My family and friends are great but they all have their own lives and I don't like to put on them too much.

I'm trying to fight back by studying in the hope of going to uni when DD starts school but it's so hard to juggle everything. Anyway, I just thought I'd have a moan and would be interested to hear if anyone else has had difficulties with the legal system etc.

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
Maggie00 · 19/03/2010 13:59

welcome! I don't post much on the lone parents board although I am one. I just so your post though. Reading your post, and seeing that your x was abusive, I have to suggest that you take a look at the npd thread on relationships board. It's been very helpful to me. More relevant to me than the lone parents board really. The girls there are great at giving really good advice. Most people in rl and most other mn-ers (luckily for them!) haven't a clue how an abusive man's mind works, and they just can't imagine what you're UP AGAINST!! I find people think that if you "just reason with him" surely it will all be alright and he will suddenly 'agree' to whatever piece of awkward tomfoolery he was putting you through before.......... Sounds like you've really been put through the mill, so well done for studying and juggling being a mum and having HAD a job a lot more recently than I've had one!

It's been nearly 3 years since I left my npd (abusive) x but I still really value the discussion on that thread.

Maggie

paddysgirl · 24/03/2010 15:55

Thanks Maggie, I appreciate you taking the time to reply. I will definitely have a look at the other board you mentioned.
Amanda

OP posts:
Primroselady · 24/03/2010 22:27

Bit late to reply, legal aid is a total nightmare, my solicitors bills are over £20,000 and my ex gets legal aid, and takes me to court for extra time to take DS away for four holidays a year!! Where is the justice!!! I have been to my MP and I am just drafting letter which she is going to present to the Minister in charge of Legal Aid. I am thinking of going to papers as it just is not fair. I get no maintenance and I have to continue to work to pay mortgage, it is just a joke.

Probably no help to you, but at least you know you are not alone

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