I have two evenings a week to myself and am sick of wasting them

[aSilverlining]

I need a life.

I have a few friends, and my sis (who has just had her 4th dc so is rather busy). But need more of a social life, people always seem too skint to go out, or are happy to stay in or whatever but I am craving company! I like going to see bands, going out for a drink and or a meal, going to cinema, etc and no seems as fussed as me.

I am probably being greedy.?. I have a girls night in to go to at friends house on Friday, then am seeing a band next Wednesday, then think next night out arranged is beginning of Aril. So I am not a completely isolated hermit/loner but I want more. (Before this week I have had one night out this year which was in January.)

Anyone else feel like this?

oh yeah!

but i go out even less often!

If you have two regular nights a week thats fab.

If you have nothing booked - and are a bit skint (aren't we all?!) there are other things that dont cost much money. Cinemas usually do a cheap night - mine is Tuesdays where all tickets are half price.

Amateur Dramatics shows or start up bands are a good inexpensive night out too. Some bands perform in pubs so no entry /ticket cost.

Ceroc dancing usually costs about £6 and you can go when you like, its not a regualr class thing and you can go on your own as you join in the practice at the beginning so dance with the guys also learning and you can ask men to dance and the etiquette there is they can't say no!!!!!

what about having friends over to you and splitting the cost of a takeaway?

also check out VoucherCodesUK has loads of cheap night out vouchers, 2 for 1 offers on restaurants and so on.

Try and be the organiser of your group of friends if that will help, look up these special deals and say does any one want to join me.

Yes DS goes to his Dad's overnight wednesdays and saturdays but I am struggling to arrange stuff with people.

whoops pressed post by accident.

Those are great suggestions thanks, maybe I do need to be more specific about planning/aranging and inviting people to do stuff with me? I am trying build up my confidence since I left ex, and am still a little cautious about people I guess.

I also have two nights a week when the DCs are at their Dad's. I went through a stage recently of feeling like a burden to everyone if I tried to organise stuff with friends. I convinced myself that they only agreed to girls-nights-out etc. because they felt sorry for me. How Paranoid??? I realise now that actually it isn't true, but I still find it hard to organise stuff too. People with partners are happy to stay in. I live in a pretty rural area so not much on in the way of clubs and groups, etc.

I have joined a gym recently. Good to get some exercise and I can see into the weight-room from the pool...occasionally a very nice view in there . Also good cos after I've been I'm usually too tired to think about how nice it would be to go out!

Hope you get your confidence back, Silver...

hi asilverlining - i can understand your cautiousness - feeling much the same too - but its worth sticking your neck out and asking friends to join you and when they do say yes, it will boost your confidence and if they can't make it cos of funds or time you can still pat yourself on the back for asking in the first place.

hi ivana the gym sounds fun - next time why not go and do some weights too - better view then!!

Ivana - I have thought about joining a gym, or even just a regular excercise class - I definately need to look into that. Excercise does your confidence good too I think.

messymissy - your right, there is no harm in asking and just seeing what the response is. I need to be a bit more lighthearted about it I think.

Have you thought about joining an evening class? People tend to be quite socialable when it has finished and you can offer to go for a drink etc.

chicaquapa - I will definately look into evening classes. I am not working at the moment due to DS, am officially his carer at the minute but do want to return to work so plan to take more courses in the mean time.

I have exactly the same problem. I have Friday nights to myself, but rarely go out.

Occasionally I will go for a curry with my mum and a mate, or go to my mates for dinner, but that is it.

I'd willingly do an evening class on a fri, but that seems to be the only night that they don't run.

It's frustrating isn't it MrsMorgan. Everyone says oh you should go out and make the most of your night off, but then trying to arrange something is like pulling teeth! I have not looked into evening classes in detail yet but I know in my city all kinds of organisations do them, so maybe there would be something out there on your free night.

I definately need to do something. Think this will be my task tomorrow, look into everything I could do and then arrange something.

silver - have you thought about a gym class. you find most of these classes a group go to the pub for a few guilt free glasses of wine drink after.

gets you excercise and a bit of social interaction.

i also find if you start going to cinema regular on a set night. every 2nd friday. or 1st fri of every month. and let your friends know.. they will ask you , not you need to feel like your pressurising them. if no one goes then just go yourself. but you may find if its only once a month they start going of their own accord. maybe even send a group email saying.. hey "on x date of following month, i'm going to see one of 3 films. anyone interested i'll be going at whatever time"... then your not organising it. they have a time and date. they either stick with it and go. or you go on your own.

i also found the organising difficult. but found when i stop trying to please everyone and specify the date and location i was supprised who easily with a week or so notice how easily friends managed to fit it into their schedule.

Silverlining... You need a boyfriend. :-)

Like you, I set up to organise things with friends but they were busy with their own families most of the time, I then went into internet trying to find friends who were more available to go out and... ended up meeting a lovely man who now uses most of my child free time.

lol mongolia, I do actually kind of have a boyfriend, it's all very new at the minute and even if things do work out wonderfully I still need some hobbies and activities of my own. I am cautious this way as my ex controlled every aspect of my life and I left the relationship with very little in terms of RL support and social network.

I may well do that with the cinema don'ttouchmumsspecialjuice, I wouldn'tbe fussed about going there on my own so it would be no big deal if everyone was busy.