Childhood memories

[DutchGirly]

Hi,

My X started screaming at me this morning that I am ruining little one's childhood memories.

Catalyst is that I am going on holiday with little one by myself and little one won't have childhood memories of both parents together on holiday.

Now in my opinion it is far more important that she has a memory of a FUN, RELAXED holiday with her HAPPY mummy which certainly would not be the case if X was there.

X just cries, screams and shouts that his life has been ruined and that her childhood memories will be horrible cause mummy broke up the family. (despite the fact I suffered PND due to X and his family's horrendous behaviour when little one was born)

Can somebody tell me what to tell him as he is driving me mad with his whining and self-pity and guilt-trip.

I am much, MUCH happier single without X which can only be a good thing for my daughter IMO.

He's talking bollocks but mabe try and soften the blow for him by going on some days out with him. Mabe try and cultivate a friendship of sorts as you and him arguing may indeed leave your dd with bad memories.

I would say that his behaviour and ranting is creating bad memories for your dd. Mabe agree to meet privately to discuss co-parenting. He is still her dad even if he is a knob.

Hi Dutchgirly,
sorry your X is screaming and shouting at you, it sounds like he is the one struggling at the moment. from a personal point of view my best memories are going on holiday with my DAD alone, as my mum left us. they are memories i treasure, and your DD will be happy seeing your happy, it rubs off :-)youe really have to do what is best for you and dd now. take lovely photos, make and albulm of your happy holiday and your dd laughing etc on photos and your X will see these are lovely childhood memories for dd to look back on, instead of miserable mummy in photo :-(
where are you going on holiday, UK or abroad?

Sounds like it is bigger than a holiday issues, TBH. Maybe you need to rethink handovers (I'm assuming that is when it happened?) so that you don't come into contact with him for a bit?

Emotionally disengage - it's bliss. Walk away. If he is ranting, tell him his behaviour is innappropriate and you are ending the conversation. Don't try to change his mind.

If he wants his daughter to have good childhood memories he needs to stop screaming and make some, on his own. She might not have happy memories of her parents together on holiday but she can have happy memories of holidays with Daddy, and holidays with Mummy.

It really doesn't sound like he's that concerned about DD and that holiday line is just to get at you. Take her, have a lovely time.

I disagree with poshsinglemum though about days out together. Don't let him try and wheedle his way back into your life. At handover, have no conversations. My ex and I do everything by letter or text and then at handover we don't discuss anything in front of DD. Doesn't stop him always just trying to push the boundaries a little...