just back from court..

[GypsyMoth]

end of a nightmare 18 months with ex H

i got a section 91(14) today......shouldn be happy as he cant re-aply to court for 4 years,and he has no court order at all now.

but its left me sad....4 dc together,and he cant get his life together to even ask the court for phone contact...he couldnt fight for anything,but i know he loves them,he hasnt shown it though

my lovely cafcass officer came into court (she's heavily pregnant and left last week but wanted to see this through)along with my solicitor....nobody on the ex's side turned up....they managed to persuade the judge that the ex wont be turning his life around anytime soon,and the stress on me and the dc is just not fair. judge put his head in his hands,rubbed his eyes,said he couldnt do this in ex's absence....then solicitor and cafcass spoke again,pushing it and he awarded it!!

not common to get a section 19 in my circs,but got it,but now feel crap!!!

Glad you had such good support - nice to hear a positive Cafcass story!

I can understand you feeling crap now. Firstly the adrenaline ebbing away leaves you feeling down, then of course the sadness that your hopes and plans for family life have come down to this. It's hardly what you dreamed of when you first decided to have dcs with your ex.

Be gentle with yourself. You've done well.

I would give just about anything to have a ruling like this - I too am in the thick of this and it is horrible.

Really this is a good outcome for your DC's - I know it is sad but you now all know where you stand. I know it is in a place you wuld prefer not to be in the first place and its so sad when a parent just cannot be arsed to sort things out but you have some resolution. He is of course able to go back to court in that time too, he just has to explain himself and ask the court and they will probably let him try again if the mood takes him.

Sad as this is, try to see it as a fresh start, you merely have a confirmation of the situation you have known about for some time. he may love them but actions speak louser than words and your children have you.

thanks....thats just what my friend said!

he was abusive to me....but he's much worse since i left....4 dc and 12 years....his life is a mess now

he's on probation,but off their radar according to probation offficer. supposed to be living in 'approved' premises,but he's missing.

can't elp feeling sad....but yes,my cafcass experience has been positive,she was a very straight talking woman. shame she's left cafcass now,think they need more like her!