should i let ex see the baby

[poopeeplops]

after a really bad time through the pregnancy the father did nothing but give me pain, stress, worry and now he has decided to change his mind and wants to be there, i have no trust in him, he does drugs, he let me down so much through pregnancy, he was aggressive towards me wen i was 9mths, how do i make the right decision which ensures my baby gets a decent father or do i walk away?? any advice please!!

That's a really difficult decision for you to make. On the one hand, the ideal is that your baby will have a father and there must have been something about this man that led you to see a good side in him once upon a time.

But on the other hand, you don't trust him, he does drugs and he has exhibited aggressive behaviour.

So, whatever decision you make you need to tread very carefully. If you decide you don't want him around, then you'll need a lot of support to help you stand firm and it might be worthwhile seeking some legal guidance. If you do decide that you want him around, then it sounds like you need (and are entitled to expect) some reassurances that he has changed his old ways. Perhaps counselling or family mediation might help?

One thing is for sure, you and your baby don't need anything that creates additional stress in your lives so don't let anyone put you under pressure to make a decision you're not comfortable with...

I'm in a similar situation, about to give birth but the 'father' has demanded that I abort, threatened me if I cause any problems with him and his girlfriend (who he'd lied about not having) and now he's saying I need to let him see baby if he wants to.
When baby is born I think I'll be leaving it in the hands of a family contact centre for him to have 'access' I'm not doing him anymore favours.
He probably isn't capable of turning up on time to those appointments anyway.
I don't need anymore stress from him now.

If you do something similar then you know baby will be safe and watched while with him at a contact centre, so whatever drugs or dodgy friends he has shouldnt be a problem and he'll 'have a chance'.

thanx for your replies, its silly but very hard at this moment to put my feelings aside todo the right thing for little one, im only 3wks in and still finding my feet, im going down the route of legal ways and supervised visits and drug tests b4 he sees him and if he will change his ways the i will agree, if not then hes obviously not as bothered as he says.

thanx again peeps xx