Ex h stopping overnight visits

[mum2boys3girls]

Exh phoned last night to say he will be stopping over night visits on his weekends he does have them, as his son will be moving into that room [seven month baby]
He doesn't have them that often as he works for a F1 team so travels alot .....

According to our Ds 13 the flat is a large luxurious flat in London .The room they used is on the third floor and his words its massive .. So I suggested making that room into 2 only to be told I was unresonable and Would be asking them to put there son up for adoption next ?? There is no reasoning with him and he makes it out likes it my fault ...

In our agreement it was agreed he would have them every weekend he can and overnight to give you an example how little he see them he is having them this weekend [last one overnight] then on 24 April .....my son said last night he feels like him and dd are being relegated ..... Really need advice what to do ... please help ......

does your exh know how your dc feel? would they be willing to talk to him about it themselves? if he hears them saying it then he might feel bad whereas if its you he thinks you are 'getting' at him

is it court ordered?

little you CAN do to be honest,you cant force him...

csa if you use them? then that might need updating if he has a reduction for overnights.

i would imagine eventually contact will taper off as your dc hits teenage years if he doesnt put some effort in soon

it is more about your ds and his father than anything - clealry your ds is going to feel rejected - but does he care?

it is pathetic - is up to the dad to organize his life so his own son can stay...but there is nothing you can do. is not really your business who sleeps where in your ex's house. and if he is selfish enough to not put his older ds as priority you cannot legislate for that...

as a 13 year old - support your ds in speaking to his dad about this. and be tehre to support him in this rejection.

I don't really have any advice - if he wanted to see them he could make it happen. I feel so sorry for your DC's though - it is a rejection and it is hurtful for them. Makes me cross that if a woman breeches a court order she can be compelled to get on with it but if a man changes his mind nothing is done about it. This is also a shame for you too because a break is good for us all.

Your DC's are being relegated, it is as simple as that.

sorry relaised it two dcs - yes theya re being relegated and they should tell him - but of course if your ex is like mie he will say that you ar putting words in their mouths...

sad but they realsiing how he is.

Its not a custody order just an agreement .My son feels very let down I haven't told my dd 8 as I know she will be very upset and I feel its his job to tell her and in doing that might make him think what he is doing by seeing her reaction

Its unbelievable BUT I always feel he has the upperhand over us ......

My son definately sees him for what he is now I know that is why he is my ex....

Have you considered asking him to be the one informing your DD? Perhaps that way he would realise about the damage he is causing?

TWAT!!!!!
Him that is!
Dont worry similar happened with mine, and TBh it has been much much hapier, no stress from DD1 wondering whether he will have them or not, no stress for me wondering how much he's drunk!
We are all much calmer for it after the initial upset!
His loss always and forever !

mine is a bit like this to a lesser extent (he does have them for one overnight every other weekend but does not adhere to our agreement and has never taken ds2 to his football matches) and it is very hurtful for your dcs - but as others have said - it does mean they see exh for what he is.

And when he has them for the 24 hours the time is generally run to the routine of his dts or his new p's family events etc.