Would you say you're lonely?

[Flightattendant]

normally I don't feel it, I am busy, chat to people at school a little bit...happy by myself.

but lately it's become really kind of acute, that there's just no one.

The world feels very big and very frightening all of a sudden and I feel unwelcome in it.

It's probably hormonal, but I wondered - does being alone have to mean you are lonely, or can some people manage without feeling like that? Is there a way to develop the ability to not feel it?

I see so many posts on here starting 'I can't do this any more'. Maybe it is natural to be with a partner?

I am not lonely at the moment but I have been in the past. I am really happy to be alone, especially when I think of abusive relationships. Don't forget that people can be lonely when in a couple. DD stops the loneliness and mumsnet. Also take up some hobbies. It is wonderful for your self esteem.

I have kind of decided that humans aren't that wonderful so I am quite happy alone. It's sad that I have come to that conclusion though tbh.

I often feel the same way and it is hormonal to some extent. I feel lonely on occasion just like you and don't hold out much hope of meeting Mr Right any time soon!

It's tough isn't it? I know exactly how you feel. I wish I could offer some comfort but maybe knowing other people feel the same makes it easier for you.

I feel like a nuisance if I call people, like they all have partners and might be settled in for the night.

What is the answer? I don't know. How do you meet someone else? No idea. Apparently it'll 'just happen' - bollocks!!! No one suitable at work, no available male friends and not ready for online route.

I have some hope because I don't always feel lonely and like you I'm mostly happy. Maybe these lonely stints are just inevitable. It'll pass and you'll feel differently in the morning. If not, let's hook up and go on the pull...

I feel lonely sometimes but I felt lonely in my marriage so I was expecting it.

would be nice to meet some mums also single though as all my friends are married.

I do on sunny Sunday afternoons in the deserted playground when the penny drops it's deserted because everyone's at home having Sunday Roast with their Family, and I'm the single parent in the park with her two kids.

Also in bed just before settling, going through the mental rota, "Are all the doors and windows locked, is the heating off, unplugged things, front door keys handy, torch handy, fire escape in-case-of route fresh in my mind, mobile phone next to bed-check-, etc etc" Miss that feeling of having a man around knowing he'll jump out of bed and protect us all in the freak event of axe murderers at midnight. Or worse.

Miss snuggling up with someone in companioable silence.

Rest of the time, far too busy to even think about it.

yeah..most of the time am too busy.

I feel most lonely when the DC's are at their dad's for the weekend. The idea of having a break seems great until they go and I'm in the house on my own for the weekend.

Hi sj80
Yep just read your message & I so agree I need to build up my network of like minded friends

Wow, rubbishname - that's just how I feel! I look forward to the break when DCs go to ExDH's but then wonder around the house, lost and lonely!

Match.com got 3 day free trial. Worth a try I wonder?

*sorry, I meant 'wander'!

flight I felt so sad reading your post as I realy admire you and you've helped me rescently.

I feel just like that too And also how milk describes.
I don't think I feel lonely but I certainly feel very alone as the only family who are there for me are my DC.

The other day in the car I thought if I have an accident now who would I call ? In the recent past it would have been my H or my parents but that option's now gone and its such a horrible, lonely scarey feeling.

I want the life I had with H but now he's gone and given my present and future to someone else and every day is torture.

Bloody hell, bit grim isnt it, sorry.

Anyway I just try to look after myself. I see my good friends often for a tea, I had sky plus put in my bedroom as I LOVE watching telly in bed and i suppose I do stay in alot as I'm lonelier when I'm out by myself and seeing couples everywhere.

I thought I'd grow old with H, not be on the lone parent threads on MN.

When I read some of the terrible problems some women on here have with their DH/DPs though I think that my loneliness is nothing compared with what they have to endure.

I count my blessings about 10 times every day and MN with lovely people like you on it is a hugely valuable addition to my life with your quality, wisdom and wit and energy and wonderfulness the like of which is hard to find in RL.

ps, I also hve a lovely rescue dog who'll come up to bed with me later (she now sleeps on twunts side of the bed) and the love of a good dog is 100 times better than the crumbs from a selfish man.

Chear up flight, you have lots of lovely people here for you. xxx

Wish we could all go for a coffee !? Are you in London ?

Ah Flighty... I feel much the same as you. And everyone else. I think, for me, my natural state is not to be in a relationship but that doesn't really make things easier.

I have bouts of loneliness but they pass. I am very busy, have 2 kids and 3 dogs in the house, but I do feel very much alone sometimes as everyone depends on me and I have no back up when things go wrong or I am not well. I found it hard when ex left us as we had just moved for his job and I didnt know anyone round here. 2 years on I have got a job and made some frinds but essentially I am very much on my own. The dogs are a godsend, they make me feel safe in the house at night as we are in a very isolated spot and they are always up for a walk in the forest or a cuddle

i love my freedom, my independence. i love that i have developed skills that to the outside world make people ask if i might actually be superwoman. but yes, right now i am lonely (it comes and goes, but for the last few years has hovered persistently in the background). i would love to make joint decisions, but i'm scared i might not be able to. i would love to be cooked for on occasion. i would love to share the responsibility of bringing home the bacon, and making everything that happens actually happen. i am scared that due to past experiences i will never be able to trust enough to have a successful relationship.

Hi just read this thread and thought I'd add my comments too.
I feel lonely quite a lot, gone out with a couple of guys over the last couple of years but they turned out to be tossers. I've just started to date a guy now and he seems lovely but it's early days, he's not got kids and I guess he's used to being on his own and enjoying his time alone, so he's not always up for a chat and I don't want to look like some desperate cling on so I resist calling him too much, plus he lives 25 miles away so we see each other every other weekend when the DCs are at their dad's. I am kind of waiting for things to go wrong.....because I just think he'll get fed up with me. I have no money, I'm living with my parents and I feel so lonely in the evenings etc. I feel like I'm letting my DCs down because we haven't got our own house. I get really depressed about it all and wonder why life has to be so difficult

The worst times are the evenings when ds is finally asleep. That's when I feel lonely. He doesn;t sleep too well, evenings or during the night, so I never get round to calling my friends in case I have to dash up to him.

I'd just like someone to share the difficult evenings and nights with and not face the looming battle of getting him sleeping in his own bed on my own.

And of course, to share the good times with too.

Changes - ds and I were with my parents for 2 years, from when he was 2 months. Life is very different now with our own space as we now have our own rented place and I guess the lonliness is different. Life changes all the time and I think we have to be positive for the lo's sakes, even when we really don't feel it.