can someone please tell me why ...

[mrsmharket]

... when x has dragged me to court to get a defined contact order, he is now changing it to suit him and his work pattern- with very little notice, might i add, than the reuqired month's notice as set out in the order??????????????

cos he's twunt?

that's one way of putting it lol

yes, wanted to be luluma'am, but coulnd'/t get an apostrophe !

hope you work things out, surely you can refuse this sudden change if it is set out in a contact order?

he doesn't have enough brain cells - pond life rarely have more than one brain cells

this is why you are no longer together

i will be going to solicitor on monday don't worry. yes i can refuse change. i did think it might take him bit longer to start changing things though

what lulu said

and he's selfish

oh yeah he's selfish alright.

he was also supposed to take dd to ballet class and i would meet them there to give her the ballet bag. am going out the door and thought i would check my phone for some bizarre reason. he's not tkaing her. cue me trying to phone to find out why. apparently she got really upset and wouldn't tell him. so i spoke to her and reassured her that it wasn't a big class today - she's used to noly 4 or 5 in there. anyway she's fine and wants to go.

next thing i know, on my way out the door is that she's changed her mind and won't tell him why. i try and talk to her, he says she doesn't want to, i personally think he;'s lying and said that she wanted to 5mins ago. phone's playing up cos i spilt milk on the keypad, so phone goes off. i try and call back, can't, so i try other phone and it appears he's switched it off. manage to get ti ringing on other phone - no answer, so try again, only phone is now refusing to co-operate. i try on other phone and it appears he's now switched it off. keep trying and can't get through. try of fneighbour's phone in case x has blocked my number and it still switched off, so by now am going out of mind with worry trying to get in contact with dd and find out why she apparetnly so upset. can't get through. go to his huose to try and find out why and he's not even in. i don't know where she is unless she's with her dad and it was driving me mad. i only hope i can get through later otherwise i won't be happy and won't know what else to do bar going over there again

sorry for rant

i was ringing an old number

have been to see solicitor and luckily she was between appointments so she coudl see me for a few minutes. she is goign to write to his sol to get him(sol) to remind x about his responsibilty to his dd to stop mucking her about basically

I think you'll have a really tough time if you try to keep up this level of control/monitoring/even communication when she is with her Dad. If she was suddenly very distressed about ballet you'd probably stop and try to find out why, not force the issue - would you then feel it was OK for your ex to phone 10 times to find out why and generally do some long-distance parenting?

If he works shifts, or has last minute changes at work then he's bound to want to switch stuff around so that he gets to spend time with her - you have to come up with something that works for you.

Of course it may be that he's a plonker and I don't know the backstory so apols if that's the case.

i think plonker is one way of saying things more politely than how he has been

no apology needed tanga