Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

My boyfriend hit me

15 replies

Becky36 · 22/02/2010 14:56

My boyfriend and I used to live together but we now live in separate houses. He has never been violent before. He is a jealous person and we have had some massive rows about it but on Saturday night we went out. We had quite a lot to drink and anyway I said hello to a friend's boyfriend in a pub. That's all I just said hello, no conversation or anything. Anyway my boyfriend went ballistic about this and more or less accused me of sleeping around. He stormed out and I followed him as he was supposed to be staying at my house. His keys to his own flat were at my house so he had to come back to mine to get his keys. I wanted to get separate taxis back to my house but he dragged me into a taxi and then punched me in the side of the head. I admit that I hit him back. My ex husband was extremely violent and I don't want this sort of relationship again. To cut a long story short he didn't hit me again but he was very rough with me. He wants to come round tonight to talk about things. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 22/02/2010 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

coldtits · 22/02/2010 14:58

Don't let him come round to talk about anything.

What could he say that could possibly make this ok?

Nothing. If there's nothing to say you don't need to talk to him. Say no. and PLEASE ring women's Aid www.womensaid.org.uk/

thesunshinesbrightly · 22/02/2010 15:05

No Dont talk to him

Original poster
Becky36 · 22/02/2010 15:05

No we haven't got any children together but I do have a son from my marriage who is five. He was at his dad's when this all happened so at least he wasn't there to see any of it. My boyfriend seems to think that because I hit him back that this makes it ok somehow. Come to think of it nothing is EVER his fault. He has said sorry numerous times since Saturday but there is always a but on the end of it, for example "I'm sorry but I thought that you wouldn't let me have my keys" and "I'm sorry but you hit me".When we met I told him about my ex husband and how violent he was (which is why I left him) and my boyfriend has always gone on about what a scum bag my ex is etc etc. He knows exactly what my ex did and he has just done the same thing.

OP posts:
puffling · 22/02/2010 15:09

Do ring WomensAid. it might not seem like the issue's big enough to merit it, but he did attack you and he would quite probably do it again.
Don't have a chat with him. He feels guilty and will want to assuage his guilt by implicating you.

thesunshinesbrightly · 22/02/2010 15:11

Becky36 - he's hit you once he WILL do it again. I feel for you, you must have mixed emotions about it all but our advice to you is dont put yourslef in the postion again, please.

Original poster
Becky36 · 22/02/2010 15:17

I am not going to stay with him. I just feel really really stupid to have fallen for this type of man again. I thought that after leaving my ex that I would be able to recognise the signs of an abusive man and to finish it before he actually hit me. I have this great book about abusive men which I read again last night after not reading it for over two years. Almost all of the warning signs were there, for example not liking my friends or family, never wanting to do anything with my friends, telling me that his friends don't like me. I just can't believe what an idiot I have been again.

OP posts:
thesunshinesbrightly · 22/02/2010 15:26

me too Becky36 my ex was the the same, but dont give him a Chance to try and win you round.

thesunshinesbrightly · 22/02/2010 15:30

You are not a idiot you trusted him, i am also scared of falling for the same type again, but now you know he is the same type, so avoid him.

emmygreen · 27/02/2010 12:24

LISTEN PLEASE. DO NOT speak to this person. File a report with the police immediately. I have gone thru this, I know what I'm talking about. It doesn't matter you struck back. That's self defense! He's a man, he's bigger and stronger. HE was the antagonist. You must press charges and do this officially. Do not speak to him at all. He will manipulate and lie and say he is obviously not a threat to you as you are speaking with him and not afraid. They are very clever at this sick psychology. Make sure that you protect yourself, change locks, numbers, etc. They will not go away, but will pop up again when you least expect it.

From this point on, make a promise to yourself never to get involved with anyone that you do not know first as a true and trusted friend that would never hurt you and does not behave in a possessive angry manner. A real man does not threaten, call names, or dare to raise a hand to a woman.
None of this is ever acceptable and only you can put a stop to it.
YOU CAN DO THIS.

mrsmharket · 27/02/2010 14:04

i agree with emmygreen, the police will see it as self defence. when i had to contact police with regards to my ex and domestic violence, they asked if he had ever hit me. i said i had and that i wasn't proud of it but i had hit him back. they said not to worry, that it sounded very much like self defence.

please call police, tell them that he has a key, you're not sure if he ahs a copy of his key and they may change locks for you as well.

also agree with emmygreen about real men.

you can do this sweetheart.

how are you today?

mrsmharket · 04/03/2010 10:37

hope things going better with you becky

Original poster
Becky36 · 08/03/2010 19:46

It's finished between us now. I have realised that he is an arse. It wasn't just the fact that he hit me, although that was bad enough, he lied constantly about all sorts of things. For example signing up to dating websites behind my back. Makes you wonder though if there are any decent men around.

OP posts:
thesunshinesbrightly · 10/03/2010 18:19

Their is Becky36 and he will come along when you least expect it.

mrsmharket · 11/03/2010 10:29

there is becky he just hiding for a while

New posts on this thread. Refresh page