Seperation / divorce from abusive H, new girlfreind, am so sad and need some advice.should i still see him?.

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Hi, never posted in this area before and hope that someone can shake some sense into me.Its long, sorry.

Seperated 18 months ago from h , we were having problems.We both thought we would work things out, or at least thats how it seemed.

We still see each other and still spend time together as a family. I have just found out that he is seeing someone, although he doesnt know i know this.He is taking her out tonight. It is also clear that he is now ok with a divorce and thinks its for the best. I am heartbroken that he is giving up on our family. Clearly his girlfreind is a more attractive option than his family.

I do not want to get divorced and feel that this could be resolved but obviously am not going to beg.His mind is made up.

He still wants to spend time with us and often refers to the family , and i am torn between still having family times and staying away from him in light of his new girlfreind .We are meant to be going away with the dcs next weekend.

I dont know how to think or feel about this.He gets emotional about the divorce but is very clear. He clearly assumes that he can still have his family yet run around with his girlfreind.He has never missed me because he still sees me, so he has yet to experience a true seperation.
I feel once he has he may feel differantly.

He says he wishes things could have been differant but wont consider that they COULD be differant.

I want to fix this but i need to accept that i cant. I am so upset its unbeleivable. I feel he is making a fool of me and the dcs, yet i still want them to be able to spend time with both of us, and i like seeing him and spending time with him, obviously hes clearly moved on.

I feel likes hes having his cake and eating it, i cant seem to move on, even after all this time i thought we could fix it.

What do i do about next weekend?

But he was abusive?

You see, in some ways, you seem to want to have your cake and eat it too - freedom from his abusiveness, but his sole attention and time as a family. If he was soending time with you, that's because you allowed him to.

I thnk you both need to move on. Separate yourself from him, but maintain enough contact so that the kids can see him. It sounds as if you wanted him to change and come back to you as a new, non-abusive man. he has instead chosen the easy way out - to skirt responsibility for his behaviour and his family.

I'm sorry you feel so upset, it sounds as if things have been painful and complicated. Throw yourself on the sympathy of your friends for some tea and cake, wine and TLC, and consider this relationship over - and if it was abusive - thank goodnes.

If he was abusive and yet you genuinely grieve the loss of it, would you consider seking some counselling support, to find your self-esteem before you seek a new relationship? You are worth more than anyone who behaves abusively towards you.