Ex H Recording our Conversations to use in court - advice

[whygodwhy]

I have separated from DH - Legal Separation Document signed and only issue DH is unhappy about is access - he wants to have DS one night a week and every other weekend Fri to Sun - DS does not want to do two night stays he is 6 - his Dad whilst living in the house was not a very "present" parent and also extremely EA & VA which DS sadly saw far too much of - so is intimidated by him and not keen to be away from me too much yet.

I have suggesed DH has DS overnight one night a week and one week has him overnight on a FRiday bringing back Sat morn and the next weekend has DS from Sat morn to Sun teatime - and we go with this until DS is happy to do two night stays - LEgal agreement says Dad to have reasonable access to be progressive at childs pace.

DH is saying DS needs to be told what to do and to forced to get over any worries DS might have - I have said we need to take this at Childs pace - I have heard from good friend that DH is recording all our conversatoins, albeit god knows why as all I say is that I want the best for DS and his realtionship with DH to go from strength to strength - He says he will win in court and DS's feelings will not be listened too and the court will see that I am being controlling - I feel that I am going out of my way to make the best of this bad situation - two questions will the court listen to tapes he may have made - he may be very clever and cut and paste different conversations together to show me in a different light - second question - will the court support my DS's wishes - to see his Dad but he says he only wants one night stays until he is older

DH also says he wants to take DS away on holiday this year to which DS flatly refused - have explained to DH that only he can build up DS's trust in him and that will take time.

No to both.

Recordings will be inadmissable. Cafcass may get involved, so voice your concerns, but usually at 6, no, won't be taken too seriously.

Acess he is requesting is the normal ammount, will be more if he goes for shared residence perhaps

Try forums at www.wikivorce.com for some good advice

Thx will look at Wikivorce - I am more than happy to them to be together - but DS is completley freaked out about the thought of his Dad taking him away for a week. - Would the court actually make a child do something they find so distressing - I am saying to DH that perhaps this year may not be possible but perhaps they could do more 2 nights together and have him every daytime for a week or so so that they get lots of time together? Would a court think this reasonable or is the case as DH says that the court will just give him whatever he wants?

No, recordings not admissable unless both parties know they're being recorded (hence greeting when you call contact centres saying "this call may be recorded blah blah blah").

Sorry, can't advise on the rest.

He'll get what's best for your child,not him or you. It's the childs rights. Depends if he goes for shared residency or just the contact

does he have a solicitor?

Your son will most likely have to go....he might not like school one day or a dentist etc, but you make him go for his own good in the long term. That's how courts view these things