dating - nice man - help!

[confidencecrisis]

Im having just a little bit of a confidence crisis.
I met a guy on a website ( not a dating one) about a month ago i think. We exchanged a few sporadic emails... for about 3 weeks.That sort of developed into daily emails and a couple of MSN chats.
Then he asked for my number on friday and if he could call me.
He did.
3 hours saturday.
couple of texts sunday and another 3 hour conversation
couple of texts last night and a hour long conversation.

We are meeting up in 10days time as im a little bit busy and wanted to appear to have a busy social life ( stupid i know).

We have swapped a couple of pictures, so we know what each other look like. and, he has called back ( what i mean is he hasnt been put off by anything idiotic i have said)

Thing is, he is actually nice. I really like talking to him, feels really comftable. hes got a really good job, no baggage and furniture from JOhn lewis. I suspect he buys nice ham and he loves m&S cupcakes. He sounds a little bit like will young without the lisp. Can you just tell im swooning already.

So, this morning i text him that i hope he has a better day today that yesterday ( he had a bad day at work) and he replied that it had already started better.......

I think he likes me, i just dont want to blow it.

Beacuse im not seeing him for 10 days im now thinking what if there is too much expectation and it all falls flat. Or what i look better in my pics than in rl ( they are recent pics.. but still, they are good pics of me, not ones where i look rubbish!)
I dont know what to wear. I dont know how to do my hair. I feel about as nervous as a 14 year old girl on her first date.

See, confidence crisis.
Not first man since i got divorced by a long shot. But def the first one where i REALLY like him....

ooohhhh, help!

What if's! lol

From a blokes perspective, unless your photo is significantly different from how you really look, you'll be fine. From my experience of dating sites, women will secretly know, even if they won't admit it. You know, those who post a photo from three years ago and 3 stone lighter! There have been times I wished I could sue them under the trades descriptions act! In general though I do think people look better in real life than photos.

As for hair, makeup etc. Most blokes don't notice so I wouldn't sweat it. I've yet to hear one of my mates say "Yeah she was fit but her shoes didn't match her dress so had to let her go...."

What he will want to see is someone who is attractive (the fact he's still interested after the pic suggests you are attractive to him) and someone he can get along with. So just dont overthink it and end up a nervous wreck before you even get there.

Lastly, just cos you've arranged 10 days doesnt mean you can't suddenly find yourself free in a few days due to a change of plans. You don't HAVE to stick to 10 days.

Good luck and remember to have fun. This is your first meeting, its not a marriage!

and......... relax.
phew... you are a jittery wreck aren't you.

thats good.

but dont look at it as a date for the rest of your life relationship .

your going to spend some time. getting to know someone new.

if he likes you thats great. if he doesn't then its NOT FOR YOU.

you might not like him?

wear something comfortable that makes you feel great.

dont do anything out of your comfort zone. i.e dont commit to a long 5 course dinner if your know you will just sit there a nervous wreck.

stick to a coffee/drink to meet up. something with no pressure, then you can leave if you want. but if you like him and he likes you then you could move onto dinner or doing something fun

in the meantime.

dont bombard him with text/email/msn. let him make first contact everyday. but be sure to reply. dont piss about and play hard to get and not reply. nor should you check for messages every 3 secs. chuck your phone in bottom of bag as normal. and reply as you would normal to friends

good luck. and try not to tell him just how pleased you are with him before you have even met. thats a little scarey.

feel free to tell him your nervous/excited.

but confessions of undying love will have him running for the hills with his bunny tucked safely up his jumper from you

thank you, sane advice. I know im just being silly.
Im not worried about my pics. They are all really recent, like last 6 months. I sent him a few which included face and whole body shots, so he knows what i look like. Im not worried about my looks, sounding modest here, im not bad looking. Im just getting myself in a tizz beacuse he seems nice and........

im normally a very confident person, so i dont like feeling all over the place

no, i know.
Ive let him contact me first so far. ( Apart from this morning, he replied and then ive not replied again, no need)
I have left a reasonable lenth of time replying from recieving the first text....
Im trying to appear cool and most certainly am not declaring love, nor anyother feelings, Im not nuts!

We had said just coffee, but he said how about dinner, and i said yes. Im fine with that.

im just all 'jittery' as he just seems lovely, and appears to be interested. Thats new to me, its normally me doing the chasing.
Unfamiliar teritory at the age of 33

enjoy it .

You're doing everything right! Don't panic. You'll be fine.

I'm very excited on your behalf

Just ask yourself, what is the absolute worst outcome? If it is just that you won't hit it off, then you'll feel a bit disappointed and move on.

Good Luck!

Why dont you bring the coffee forward and leave the dinner for the 10 days?

agreed a quick coffee or a drink might be better before a dinner
just relax tho and stop overthinking everything here

ah - my thread isnt dead yet then... suspect ill be having more jitters next week anyway and will need advice/calming down!

He text me wed,to tell me that he was thinking about me ( hadnt heard from him tue ) few texts to and fro, then he called me when he was walking home ( had gone to a comedy gig). Conversation was about 2 hours i think.

Didnt hear from him yesterday, i havent text him. I suspect he will text me today or tomorrow. Im not texting him first and am really pleased its not obsessive/constant texting all day every day as that would do my head in.

He still seems lovely...I am hoping if conversation flows so freely on the phone then it will be the case when we meet.
I am now actually free this weekend when i didnt think i was. But with it being valentines weekend i think thats a bit much.

Well he called friday and we talked for about 2 hours.

Sat we texed for a bit, as i was out ( or not! ) he was actually really nice and i had said something about, he didnt know as he hadnt met me. ANd he replied that yes, it could be a total disaster when we meet, but i seem inteligent, funny, attractive and he really hopes it goes well. Also that he is only expecting dinner with me, and no more.

So i think thats really nice.

Then he text me a happy valentines message and we chatted this morning for about a hour.

I could talk to him all day.... his voice is just lovely, its like silk. We have so much in common.... oh gosh, i can feel expectations building.. im going to be so disapoiinted if it goes horribly.

ooh, sounds promising, when are you meeting?

ooooh.i having a bit of a wobbly momment.

Ive not spoken to him since sunday morning. He text me last night to ask how i was, i replied and he text back.
That was it, ( but he was having friends round for pancakes)

AND

he still hasnt said where/when to meet. I just know we both had said this saturday.

should he have said by now? mind you, i would have thought it odd if he had said on sunday....

i dont know

ask him, suggest a place and time!

its ok.
He text me this morning on the way to work.
Location and time sorted
my outfit it sorted
i know what im doing hair and make up wise

i just need to stop being so excited/nervous

good luck I have a weekend date too, yay!

Good luck!

er, hope yours was better than mine lol

oh dear - what happened - do tell?

Mine was really nice.
I was a bit late, like 20 mins but i did tell him it was likely i wouild be late.

He had text me to tell me where he was sittiing and what he was wearing.

I felt a little bit, i dont know if surprised is the word. but god, it makes me sound really shallow... but he wasnt as good looking as i thought he was. I didnt think he was lush from his pics, so it sort of threw me. But i tried not to think about it, and just concentrate on him and then it was great. Hes not a munter or anything, just not my usual type ( which, less face it cant be that good, or i wouldnt be single!)

Conversation was fab, wine flowed, lots of laughing and flirting. Food was lush. he picked up the tab despite me insisting to pay half, or at least for desert.

Had a nice walk afterwards, lots of flirting ending up in a snog and a grope againist a wall! LOL

Then, and this is a surprise to myself, i went home. By myself. I thanked him for a lovely time and he took me to the taxi place, and made sure i was ok.

He texted last night too, and wants to see me again.

so, sucessful, i think