money

7 replies

pinkglitter · 08/02/2010 20:55

me & the little ones dad and aad had a agreement with maintance the money however h asked if i could take a reduced amount as he was not working alot hours now - he has told me that he has no money this was on the 1st of feb.
and today he let slip he was off to london on thursday but he has no money !
he also let slip that he was signing on but he tripped up on his words.
last time i stopped him seeing little one but now i need to aproach the subject any ideas ?

thanks x

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 08/02/2010 20:59

how much were you getting?

london could be a job/interview?

if he's on jsa then you'll be entitled to £5 a week,give them a call and they will deduct it for you and pay into your account

oh,and keep contact and maintenence separate..

Original poster

pinkglitter · 08/02/2010 21:05

no london is to going to see a darts match

thanks for the advise

OP posts:

Niceguy2 · 09/02/2010 07:57

Your child is not a pay as you go item. As Tiff say, please keep contact & maintenance seperate.

If he's officially unemployed then you get £5 per week.

What he does and where he goes on top of that is none of your business.

Original poster

pinkglitter · 09/02/2010 09:39

oh i know its none of my business but he let slip that he is skint in one had he forgets what he tells me x

OP posts:

Chil1234 · 09/02/2010 16:18

Wouldn't this be a good one for the CSA? Formalise it? 'Gentlemen's agreements' tend to fall apart really quickly when people claim to be a bit short or they need beer money for a darts match.

Original poster

pinkglitter · 09/02/2010 21:22

yes i think i will follow that one up again x

OP posts:

supagirl · 11/02/2010 14:12

I think you need to either agree an amount between you or go through the csa then leave it at that - one persons skint can be very different from anothers but neither of you has the right to question the others spending tbh. How would you feel if you asked him for more then he started wondering about a new coat/haircut/nightout......etc - everyone is entitled to a treat now and again.

My ex reduced the amount he pays due to the recession then went out the next week and bought a PS3, then took his new gf away for a week. Sure, it's annoying but at the end of the day my new partner and I will ensure LO has all he needs and I know that if I challenge him he will start with digs like "new top?" or "LO says you went out last night..." etc. I do't want to answer to him so have to accept that he doesn't have to answer to me.

I'm not bing unsympathetic, but sadly it is just something you have to learn to bite yourtongue about.

Flip