Just indulge me a bit here.... have also put this in "Relationships" as not sure where it should go.
Ex-DH pays me £200 a month in mutually agreed maintainance for our DS.
Ex DH works as a living history performer (self employed) so the money can be a bit crap but he makes enough to live on.
As he is so crap with money his parents (Mother) have been doing all his business finances for the past 18 months. He pays his cheques into an account and his mother then pays him a salary of around £1500 a month(depending on income). All his petrol costs go on a business credit card which is paid each month from the income so he has no petrol costs (or very little).
Back in August his parents gave him a cheque for £10,000 (following the sale of one of their houses). I know this as when I last stayed at his place (with DS) I helped ex tidy up and sort out his bank statements. Ex bought a second hand car with this £3k and the rest has just gone - frittered away tbh - certainly we did not see any of it.
Recently I reduced my work hours as our DS has been having problems at school (dyspraxia and probably high functioning autism). I reduced my hours so I could pick DS up from school every day with the upshot that my salary has dropped by a huge amount each month. I really rely on the contribution ex DH pays me. Every single month is a struggle at the moment. As it is he gave me a loan of £50 last month as I had an unexpected bill come in (have just moved)
This month he has not yet paid me anything as he didn't earn much in January and so his mother has given him just enough to pay his rent and council tax. He needs to give me £150 (as he quickly reminded me "don't forget it's only £150 this month" - No dearie I had not forgotten) and doesn't know when it will be. Tbh it's crap as I have bills to pay next week and right now am realising I will have to cancel the direct debits yet again to avoid bank charges.
Child benefit goes in on Monday and I will need to pay a weeks rent out of that which will leave just £15 in my account until he pays the agreed money.
My mother (not known for her lack of bias) is fuming as there is no consistency to when he pays the money each month and says that "perhaps he should be getting a proper job then" - when we first married he DID have a "proper" job.
Tonight he made a crack comment about my new washing machine which I am buying through a catalogue because I cannot afford to buy a new one in the shops I was so pissed off with him because there is nobody around to give me 10k - if there was I would not need to use a catalogue. As it is I am getting it interest free over three years so it's costing me around £10 a month. I did snap at him a bit and he then said "only a joke - don't have a sense of humour failure". Am annoyed as the washing machine is an essential to me because DS is still bedwetting lots of nights and sheets and quilt covers need washing several times a week.
My ex lives 200 miles away and when his work comes up in this area (like next week), I allow him to stay here and see DS at the same time and it's usually fine as DS loves seeing his Dad. However, given that I am almost broke and cannot afford to feed him as well as us I a considering asking him to stay at his sister's home (about 40 ins away from here).
Or a I being petty?
Just so fed up as yet again I will have to struggle to pay bills which would be paid easily if the money was there.